The Dark Night of the Soul…
What is the dark night of the soul? What does it feel like to be in this place? What can we do when we are there? What should you know about getting through one and how we can help others who may be in this darkness, especially with the world we are living in currently
What is a Dark Night of the Soul?
Some people if not most of us will experience go through a difficult time that can be referred to as the “dark night”.
Although we want to run away from it, it’s still there. We try to cover up our pain and put on a happy face, but it’s still there. We try to find relief in spiritual philosophy or psychology or by being addicted and doing other things that take our minds off of the pain. But it’s still there. What is the dark night of the soul? What does it mean to go through this difficult time? What is it like and what should you know about going through this trial?
A dark night of the soul refers to a period of pain and suffering that many people go through in their lives. This can be brought on by any number of circumstances including the loss of loved ones or being separated from them, sickness and disease, death or dying, war, famine, poverty, abuse, and other similar life events.
Some people have difficulty with the term “dark night of the soul”, and prefer to talk about it instead as depression, mental illness, a depressive episode, manic-depression, or other psychological afflictions.
However, if we look at this concept in its original context (from Spanish mystics) and even in our current spiritual circles i.e., from an esoteric viewpoint, then we are more likely to get closer to what a Dark Night of the soul really is and how best to deal with one if you find yourself going through it.
One can experience a dark night of the soul alone or they can be taken through it when their loved ones are also present for it. We may be called upon to witness another’s dark night of the soul as we may be asked to provide support for them.
A period of depression can bring with it a feeling that everything has turned against us. We might feel distant from God or even angry at him for allowing things to happen that we don’t want to have happened.
Some people who experience a period like this will consider ending their lives because they feel like life isn’t worth living anymore. Why is a dark night of the soul so difficult? It’s an experience where we are very aware of our pain, but no matter how hard we try to avoid it or go around it, we find that there is no way to get away from the pain.
Our minds create scenarios that cause us more grief and suffering and unfortunately, these scenarios can be self-fulfilling prophecies.
We think about what might happen if such-and-such happens or doesn’t happen, but then we begin to believe that the worst possible scenario will actually occur.
We feel helpless at times because we don’t know how else to deal with going through this painful time. We may not understand why things are happening to us in the first place.
We want it to stop, but we don’t know how to make that happen. While we are going through this period of suffering, sometimes we may not even be aware that it’s happening because our minds try to deny us the pain and suffering in order for us to keep on living as best we can.
If you’ve ever seen someone who has been in a serious car accident and they seem to be acting like everything is fine, then you’ve seen what denial can look like.
The Dark Night of the Soul is when you feel like you have lost your connection to God. You might feel really sad and alone. If this happens, know you are not alone. This is part of the process of your transformation.
The World isn’t going to tell you that Dark Night is a sign of spiritual growth. It’s rare for people to talk about it, but almost everyone experiences it at some point and every major spiritual teacher has gone through it. You’re changing your life, and the World isn’t going to stay the same.
Dark Night is the time when you start seeing that everything that seemed so important before, really wasn’t. You realize that it was all just shadows on a wall.
Your relationship with others starts to change and you begin facing your own issues. And for some reason, nobody can comfort or help you.
How Long Can The Dark Night of the Soul Last...
Mine lasted almost 4 years…But don’t worry, it’s a good thing. You’re growing! The Dark Night is the “night” part of your spiritual journey! The very darkness that is needed for you to truly recognize your light!
It usually lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a few years, while we are learning more and more about ourselves, as the world lives in an egocentric existence, we are somewhat going through ego death. Don’t let this scare you off your path though.
If you stick with your path, you will make it through the Dark Night.
Now I’m not just talking about sadness and depression either, that is often a result of Dark Night. I mean major transformations in your worldview; seeing everything from a different point of view than before does not happen overnight.
It takes time and is often painful, but it’s worth it in the long run because you become a better person. The changes are real and they are deep.
You might feel that there is something missing inside of you- like the purpose of your existence or perhaps a deep longing for something more than this physical world.
You need to make some changes in your life, but when you do, something else can happen! Your whole world is turned upside down.
This will be why everything feels wrong and you are not sure if what you are doing right now is the best thing for your spiritual growth.
The dark night won’t last forever, it might not even be there for you at this time (especially if you have been studying this spiritual stuff since birth).
If it is I want to help as many people as I can get through this because it is painful, but you will make it to the other side.
Why is "The Dark Night of the Soul so Painful"
In this process of awakening, you will find people who just don’t understand where you are coming from (your old friends). This might hurt, but at least they won’t try to drag you back into your old life once they see what’s happening for real.
The people who are supportive will make a major difference in the process of the dark night. If you feel like your friends and family just don’t get it, it’s because they don’t.
You will need to find someone to talk with (go to a therapist or spiritual teacher) about what you’re going through right now. (Make sure whoever you confide in has experienced the dark night of the soul or they will not understand what you are experiencing either and you will receive bad advice).
The pain is real for sure, but there are ways to help you see clearly what is happening.
I have worked with hundreds of people, and over the last year has been very triggering for many as the covid pandemic has triggered many into a spiritual awakening and with that a dark night of the soul.
Things you may be experiencing:
- You want something that you cannot touch; it is like you want to go somewhere or be back home, and I mean home away from earth.
- You are not happy and you’re not interested in things that you used to find fun.
- Your will and self-control are weakened, so you can’t always do what you want to do. You really see most of life as pointless.
- You feel powerless in the material world because you can’t do anything to fix your problems.
- You feel like you are lost and that you might have a life of suffering and emptiness.
- You feel like you are not good enough.
- You feel a very deep sadness that is often so deep it feels like despair. It usually happens when you are thinking about your life or the world.
The Dark Night of the soul is painful, it is the death of the ego, the false self that you thought was you is dying. This is essential for the soul to rise up and lead you on the rest of your path. It is important to understand the work you need to do and no longer avoid it.
The Purification is a Process...
For Healing to begin, you will realize in order for this process to complete, you have to completely destroy and demolish everything that you thought would make you happy.
Most people who experience this spiritual depression realize that nothing makes them happy anymore. They might not be happy with their bodies, with sex, or emotions.
Some people might not even enjoy material things anymore, or politics and social events. And this is the start of the purification process. The process is where you start to deconstruct your old beliefs and life so that you can rebuild them anew.
The thing is, the more you try to resist this process and hold on to your old habits and worldly pleasures, the harder it gets to get rid of it all. The worse you feel about yourself and the world around you will only increase your suffering.
The best thing to do is to TRUST THE PROCESS, let it happen no matter what you feel like or how painful the process gets.
If your emotional and spiritual pain ever becomes unbearable, take some time off from work or school and go somewhere quiet where you can be alone with yourself for a while.
The key here is to remain mindful of the experience, this helps you see clearly and will bring you back to the present moment.
What The Dark Night of The Soul is Doing to You...
Because we live in duality it can feel as if the ground beneath your feet is being stripped away. That’s what happens during the Dark Night of the Soul.
This experience teaches us many things. It lets us know what is fragile, how it can change, and when it will die. We are left with a feeling of emptiness inside.
But if you keep looking, you will find that there are some things that cannot change or die: like our truth about who we really are: pure divine essence.
In the end, you see that nothing will bring you happiness because happiness is a conscious state of being, it just is.
(Do you want to know more about the Dark Night of the Soul? Schedule a session, we also work with you through The Spiritual Awakening Process >>>Click Here)
Not everyone has the same experience when they enter into the dark night of the soul, however, most agree that it is the spark of a spiritual awakening.
You are being placed into the darkest place known in order for you to truly see the light as you emerge, this is the only way you will not be hijacked by the ego that is left.
As you proceed through this process and purification you must begin to recognize what the dark night of the soul means to you. I can only explain my understanding of it.
I know all the answers cannot come from just reading an article as they shouldn’t so if you find yourself struggling please reach out!
The Dark Night of the soul is a blessing while also being one of the hardest experiences we face in this lifetime. It is the birth of your Soul in this human experience!