The empath is a compassionate and caring person who is attracted to the wounded narcissist. The empath feels drawn to the narcissist’s pain and desires to help heal them which makes the empath and narcissist relationship highly volatile.
However, the narcissist is not interested in healing and their narcissistic tendency is to use the empath to fulfill their own emotional needs.
The empath soon realizes that they are being used and manipulated but feels powerless to break free from the narcissistic grip.
Empaths are polar opposites to narcissists. People with narcissistic personality disorder lack empathy and require admiration, but empaths are highly sensitive and attuned to other people’s feelings. Empaths are “emotional sponges,” able to absorb emotions from others readily.
This dynamic can be quite damaging to the empath, who often feels used and taken advantage of. If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to get out before you become further entangled in their web of deceit and manipulation.
What Is an Empath?
Compassion is at the core of being an empath. When you are able to feel what another person is feeling, it’s hard not to have compassion for them.
Empaths tend to put the needs of others before their own. They are generous with their time and energy, and always willing to help out.
And because they can absorb the emotions of others, they are often quick to comfort someone who is hurting. Being an empath is a special gift, one that can make the world a more compassionate place.
What Is a Narcissist?
Narcissists view themselves as superior beings with a deep sense of entitlement. They have an inflated sense of ego and lack empathy for others, which allows them to take advantage of those around them.
Narcissists also tend to be grandiose thinkers, always believing that they are the center of attention and that everyone admires them.
However, behind their façade of confidence lies deep insecurity and fear. These vulnerabilities are usually hidden by the narcissist’s need for admiration and to be adored by all.
Narcissists are often in pain and cannot recognize their sense of self as they have no self-awareness. Instead, they use projection of their feelings to please their own narcissism and will mirror their partner’s empathic character traits.
For instance, instead of owning their own feelings of worthlessness and shame. They treat their partners in such a way that their partners feel worthless and ashamed.
This is because narcissists cannot handle their own pain. They would rather transfer their pain to someone else. This is why it is so difficult to be in a relationship with a narcissist.
They are always projecting their own pain and insecurity onto their partner, making the partner feel bad.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to understand this dynamic. Otherwise, you will always be the one feeling bad.
If you suspect that someone you know may be a narcissist, it is important to be aware of their manipulations and how to protect yourself from them.
Understanding The Relationship Between the Empath and Narcissist
Empaths are often drawn to narcissists because they are hoping to be seen and loved in a way they have never been before.
For the majority of empaths that were never taught strong boundaries the door is open for relationships built on dysfunction.
The root cause of this dynamic is that you may have had a caregiver that used manipulation and control as a way to keep you in line with their expectations.
The Empath is usually unconscious of this manipulation because it feels normal to them it feels like home felt as a child.
They feel they are deserving of love only if their narcissistic partner loves them, and they believe that if they can elicit the affections of someone who is unable to give love, then they are genuinely deserving of affection.
They try to heal the wounded narcissist, hoping that once healed, the narcissist will provide the empath with the love and validation they so desperately desire.
However, this is usually a futile endeavor, as narcissists are typically unwilling or unable to change. The empath must come to terms with this if they ever hope to find true happiness.
Unconsciously, an empath will seek out a relationship with the narcissist because it is a familiar situation.
It is a way of re-enacting the past and trying to change the outcome. Many empaths grew up with narcissistic parents that rejected their emotional needs, Most empaths were not given the unconditional love every youngster needs.
This creates a deep wound that they spend their lives trying to fill. However, 9/10 times this leads to an abusive relationship instead.
The only way to truly heal is to work through the pain of the past and learn to love oneself unconditionally. Only then will the empath be able to thrive and attract healthy, loving relationships into their lives.
Why Do Empaths and Narcissistic Personalities Attract Each Other?
It’s an enigmatic but frequently asked question: Why do empaths and narcissists seem to attract each other? On the surface, it doesn’t make sense.
Empaths are highly sensitive and compassionate people who often want to help others, while narcissists are self-centered and lack empathy. However, there is a reason why these two types of people are often drawn to each other.
Narcissists tend to have low self-esteem, and they are looking for someone who will validate their worth. Empaths, on the other hand, are deeply compassionate and often see the best in people.
As a result, they may be drawn to try and help the narcissist change for the better. Unfortunately, this rarely works out.
Narcissists are profoundly dysfunctional people, and their behavior is often too much for an unconscious empath to handle. As a result, these relationships often end in heartbreak. There are several reasons why an empath and narcissist are attracted to each other. One of the most common is that they both have low self-esteem.
Narcissists are constantly looking for someone who will validate their worth, while empaths are often drawn to try to help others change for the better.
Another reason these two types of people are attracted to each other is that they both crave attention and affirmation. Narcissists often need constant attention and validation to feel good about themselves, while empaths often crave affection and approval.
This can create a toxic loop in which the narcissist sucks all the attention and energy out of the empath, leaving them feeling drained and empty.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to understand that you cannot change or fix them. The only person you can change is yourself.
Focus on taking care of yourself and setting boundaries with the narcissist. If they are unwilling to respect your boundaries, then it may be necessary to end the relationship.
Lastly, these two types of people are often attracted to each other because they both have a deep need for intimacy. Narcissists crave intimacy but are unable to achieve it because of their lack of empathy.
Empaths, on the other hand, often have a deep need for closeness and connection. This can lead to the empath becoming emotionally attached to the narcissist in an attempt to satisfy their own needs.
In relationships, the empath will go back to the narcissist several times before they start awakening to the situation they are in.
The Depths it Can Go…
Narcissists are expert manipulators, and they’re often using this skill to exploit another person’s empathy. Empaths are naturally full of compassion and understanding people, and they often internalize the feelings of others.
This makes them prime targets for narcissists, who will use empathetic people as scapegoats for their own dysfunctional needs met without giving them a second thought.
The empath may blame themselves for the narcissist’s abuse, but the truth is that they are the true victim of the relationship.
The narcissist is able to keep the empath in a cycle of emotional or physical narcissistic abuse, continuing to demoralize them and use them as a tool to prop up their own ego.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to recognize this dynamic and get out before it destroys your sense of self.
Mirroring: A tactic I fell for in my own experience, I will never forget how this person talked and acted just as I did. Even when we went to my hometown in the south, she would mirror the accent like she was a local. So what is this soulmate mirroring that is done by the narcissist?
At first, it’s mesmerizing. They seem to understand you in a way that no one else does. They “get” you. They are interested in all of the same things that you are.
They have great taste, and they can talk for hours about theoretical things that interest you both. You feel like you have finally found your soulmate.
But it’s all an act. A performance designed to draw you in. Narcissists are master manipulators, and they know exactly what to say and do to make you feel special, wanted, and loved.
They reflect your thoughts and feelings back to you so that you truly feel as if they really get you. But it’s all a ploy to gain your trust – to get you to lower your guard.
Narcissists are experts at making people fall for them. But the truth is, they don’t really see you. They only see themselves reflected back in you.
And once they have what they want from you, they will move on, leaving you feeling used and empty. Don’t be fooled by their facade of false intimacy. It’s just a trick to get what they want from you.
Eventually, narcissistic mirroring becomes a tool for their narcissistic abuse.
When narcissists get to the phase of the relationship where they start putting their partner down, abusing them, and devaluing them, the darker side of mirroring begins.
Now the mirroring switches from a positive reflection of the things you ever wanted, desired, and valued, to a negative one.
The narcissist starts reflecting back on all of your insecurities, doubts, and fears so in return you react to your emotional triggers.
They make you feel like you’re not good enough, that you’re worthless and deserving of their abuse.
This dark side of the mirror is designed to control and manipulate you, to make you doubt yourself and believe that you need the narcissist in your life.
But it’s important to remember that this is just a trick, a ploy to keep you under their thumb.
You are worthy and deserving of love and respect, no matter what the narcissist says or does.
Don’t let them control you with their dark mirroring – stand up for yourself and break free from their hold.
Projection: Narcissists will project so much onto others that the empath eventually is carrying the entire world of the narcissist’s own burdens on their shoulders. So what is this projection?
Narcissist Thrive on projecting their own behavior or personality traits onto another person. It’s a common defense mechanism used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, as it allows them to deflect and avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.
For example, if a narcissist is feeling insecure, they may project that insecurity onto their partner by accusing them of being unfaithful (this is a clue they are cheating or would cheat if they could).
Projection can be harmful in any relationship, but it may be especially common between people with pathological narcissism and those who are highly empathetic, also known as empaths.
The reason for this is that empaths are often seen as a threat to the narcissist’s ego, as they are able to see through the false facade that the narcissist has created (Eventually).
As a result, the narcissist may attempt to destroy the empath’s sense of self-worth in order to protect their own ego.
If you think you’re being subjected to narcissistic projection, it’s important to reach out for help from a trusted friend or therapist. Remember, you are not responsible for the narcissist’s toxicity; they are.
How To Respond To Narcissistic Projection
It may seem like responding to narcissistic projection is a losing proposition. For a while, ignoring it may be OK, but carrying another person’s insecurities can quickly become draining especially for an empath.
Meanwhile, attempting to discuss projection with a narcissist might result in lengthy, fruitless debates. There are, however, ways to reply that may assist you to defuse the situation while also preserving your mental health.
For example, you might try redirecting the conversation back to the narcissist by asking how they feel about what they’re projecting onto you. This can help them to realize what they’re doing and take responsibility for their own feelings.
Alternatively, you could simply express empathy for the narcissist’s insecurities, without taking on the responsibility for them. Whatever approach you choose, remember that you have a right to protect yourself from harmful behavior.
A word from Create Higher Vibrations
It’s possible to get entangled with a narcissist. They may be charming, exciting, and fake being humble. But it’s important to remember that they’re also very manipulative.
They will try to control you and your emotions. If you’re not careful, you can end up losing yourself in the relationship. This is why it’s so important to be aware of the signs of a narcissistic personality.
If you recognize them, you can protect yourself from getting sucked into their world. And if you do find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, don’t despair.
It’s possible to break free and reclaim your life. The experience can even be a chance for personal growth. So if you’re dealing with a narcissist, don’t lose faith in yourself no matter what they have said to you.
Being an empath is a superpower and it will help you break free and turn the experience into something positive.
If you find yourself needing to talk or needing assistance in understanding your experience, please schedule a session today!