Why do relationships fail long-term?
…after two years?
…after five years?
…after ten years?
Relationships are delicate things, especially when they’re new. They require time, effort, and attention to maintain. Unfortunately, even the best relationships can falter.
There are a variety of reasons why relationships don’t go the distance, but some of the most common reasons are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It’s typically very difficult to repair the damage after the trust is damaged. Similarly, communication is essential to keeping a relationship on track. Without open and honest communication, misunderstandings and resentment can quickly build up.
Respect is also vital to a lasting relationship. If there is no mutual respect, it can be difficult to move forward. Finally, a difference in priorities can often lead to the demise of a relationship. If one person wants something different than the other, it can be difficult to find common ground.
It’s important to remember that every relationship is different and there is no surefire way to prevent all relationships from ending.
However, by being aware of some of the most common reasons why relationships fail, you can be more mindful of these issues in your own relationship and take steps to avoid them. If you are having difficulty in your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional for help.
12 Main Reasons Why Relationships Fail:
What can you do to prevent a failing relationship? It’s hard to tell sometimes. Sometimes it just seems fated that a relationship will fail, and no matter how happy or compatible you are, somehow the two of you keep finding reasons to fight.
Other times, there is at least one main reason why a couple might break up… and it’s not just destiny. The following is a list of the 12 most common reasons why relationships fail, and any one of them can be remedied if you take action:
Trust Issues, There Is No Trust…
One of the most important ingredients in a happy and successful relationship is a feeling of security. If we don’t feel safe with our partners or feel like they are always going to let us down, it can be very difficult to maintain trust.
Emotional support is vital in order to feel secure in a relationship, and without it, it can be hard to feel like things will ever get better. If you’re feeling insecure in your relationship, it’s important to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling.
Only through communication can you hope to build the trust and security that are necessary for a lasting relationship.
Jealousy burns You Out…
Though a little jealousy can spice up a relationship, pathological jealousy is a serious issue that should not be ignored. If your partner is constantly suspicious of your actions and accusing you of being unfaithful, this is a red flag.
Their possessiveness may even extend to controlling your behavior and who you talk to. This type of jealousy is not only unhealthy for the relationship, but it can also be dangerous.
If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to take action before it escalates. Try to talk to your romantic partner about their jealous behavior and see if they’re willing to change.
If they’re not, then you may need to consider ending the relationship and going in different directions. Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy and safe relationship.
A possessive partner can make you feel restricted, controlled, and even isolated. If your partner is overly possessive, it’s important to ask yourself if this feels healthy.
If your partner isolates you away from your friends or constantly checks up, on you, it may be time to reassess the relationship. A possessive partner may try to control who you talk to, what you wear, and what you do.
If you don’t feel like you’re able to be yourself in the relationship, it’s not likely to be a healthy one. If your partner is possessive, it’s important to have a conversation about boundaries.
Possessiveness can be a sign of insecurity or jealousy, so try to explore what might be driving this behavior. It is also a sign of abusive behavior as well!
Let’s face it, we’ve all been lied to at one point or another. Whether it’s a little white lie or a full-blown deception, lies can have powerful consequences.
In relationships, for instance, even the simplest of fibs can erode trust and lead to conflict. And when it comes to more serious matters, like infidelity, lies can completely shatter a relationship. The bottom line is that honesty is always the best policy.
Poor Communication is Draining…
If you find yourself in a relationship where the only thing you ever talk about is the chore list or the kids’ soccer schedule, it might be time to have a break.
Communication is an important aspect of any relationship, and it should be about more than just logistics. When you’re both constantly getting interrupted by work or family obligations, it can be easy to fall into patterns of talking about nothing but the mundane details of your life.
However, healthy communication should include discussion of a wide variety of topics. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, try asking your partner about their hopes and dreams, or what they loved doing as a child. You might be surprised at how much you have in common, and how much richer your conversations become.
Cheating Will Cause Failure…
If you think your partner is cheating on you, it can feel like the foundation of your relationship has been ripped out from under you. All of a sudden, you might not be able to trust this person anymore.
They might not even be the person you thought they were. If you’re feeling lost and confused, you’re not alone. Many people have felt the same way when they’ve gone through this experience.
The good news is that there are ways to get through it. With time and patience, you can rebuild your trust and create a stronger foundation for your relationship than ever before.
Money is often a source of disagreement for couples. One may be a spender while the other is a saver, which can lead to friction when it comes to financial decisions.
However, the real problem isn’t necessarily that they have different spending habits; it’s more about how they communicate about money. Too often, conversations about finances devolve into arguments, with each partner digging their heels in and refusing to budge.
This lack of respect can quickly erode the relationship, even if the couple agrees on most other things. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, it’s important to approach financial discussions with minimal respect.
This doesn’t mean that every decision has to be a unanimous one; it simply means that each partner should try to see the other’s point of view and come to a compromise that works for both of them.
Different Life Goals…
Different long-term goals can certainly be a source of conflict in any relationship. But it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. If you’re both willing to compromise, you can find a way to make your different goals work for both of you.
For instance, you may be able to continue working in the city for a few more years if your partner is willing to wait to start a family. Or, you may be able to start a family sooner than you planned if your partner is willing to commute to the city for work.
The important thing is that you’re both open to finding a solution that works for both of you. If you can do that, then different long-term goals won’t be a problem in your relationship.
Lack of Intimacy…
When you first start dating someone, intimacy is often automatic. You can’t keep your hands off each other, and you always want to be close.
However, as the relationship progresses, it’s not uncommon for physical intimacy to dwindle. This can be a problem if one partner is still feeling very passionate while the other has cooled down.
The key to maintaining a healthy relationship is to keep the lines of communication open. If one partner is feeling disconnected, they need to be able to tell the other. Otherwise, the problem will only continue to grow.
Relationship Goals are Not The Same…
Relationships are a lot like ice cream: there are endless flavors to choose from and everyone has their own specific preferences. You might be a die-hard fan of chocolate chips, while your partner prefers mint chocolate chips.
Or maybe you like your ice cream straight up, while your partner always goes for the sundae with all the toppings. The point is, that relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and what works for one individual might not work for another.
So if you find yourself in a relationship where your priorities don’t quite align, don’t panic. Just sit down with your partner and figure out what you both want out of the relationship. Chances are, you’ll be able to find a compromise that satisfies both of you. After all, relationships are all about a partnership that you can build on.
It’s not uncommon for couples to have different priorities. One person may prioritize their career, while the other may prioritize their family. This can often lead to conflict, as each person tries to convince the other to see things their way.
The key to resolving this conflict is to remember that both partners are equally important. Just because one person prioritizes their career doesn’t mean that the other person’s priorities are any less valid. The key is to find a way to compromise so that both partners feel like they’re being heard and respected.
For instance, maybe the person who prioritizes their career can agree to put their work on hold for a few years while the other person focuses on their family.
Or, maybe the person who prioritizes their family can agree to make some sacrifices in order to make more time for their partner’s career. Either way, it’s important to find a solution that works for both partners or move on.
Lack of Sex…
If you’re not careful, your relationship can turn into a scene from a horror movie. You know the one: the couple is sitting in bed staring at their phones, not touching, not speaking, not looking at each other.
If this sounds eerily familiar, don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, research has shown that couples who don’t touch much are more likely to have relationships that deteriorate over time. The lack of touch is often exacerbated by communicating in a style that is not intimate and close.
So if you’re looking to sustain a healthy relationship, make sure to keep the lines of communication open and maintain physical intimacy. These two things will go a long way in keeping your relationship strong.
No romantic relationship is perfect, but if you’re finding that the difficult moments outweigh the good ones, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.
Relationships don’t endure for many reasons, but key contributors to their demise involve issues of trust, communication, respect, priorities, and intimacy. If you and your partner want to make the relationship work, you can try reaching out to a couples therapist for additional support.
Of course, couples therapy is not a magic bullet, but it can help you and your partner learn how to communicate effectively and resolve conflict in a healthy way.