Narcissistic Mirroring? How The Mirror of Narcissism Looks

narcissistic mirroring

Have you ever met someone who seemed like “the ONE” maybe your soulmate, your twin flame? Everything about them just seemed right, as if you were cut from the same cloth.

They had the same sense of humor. They could have used the same words or tones of voice. This is an example of narcissistic mirroring, and it’s a tactic that narcissists use to build rapport.

By mirroring your behavior, they validate your connection as they adopt your likes and dislikes. However, this is just a facade that hides the insecure low self-esteem of pathological narcissism.

Those with narcissistic personality disorder lack empathy and are not interested in truly connecting with others. They only care about themselves and how you can serve them. As a result, they will eventually move on to someone else who they can better control.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, it’s important to be aware of what is happening, so that you can protect yourself from being manipulated by a narcissistic individual.

In narcissistic relationships, narcissists often use mirroring as a way to control and manipulate their partners. Mirroring is a normal human trait that happens when we see ourselves in another person.

We naturally want to be like those we admire, and so we copy their behavior to feel closer to them. However, narcissists take this behavior to an extreme, using it as a way to control and dominate their partners while creating unhealthy relationships.

They will instinctively reflect on what they think their partner wants to see, to avoid rejection and abandonment. The toxic person knows if anyone saw their true colors and lack of self-worth they would exit the relationship indefinitely, leaving the narcissist. As a result of mirroring, the relationship becomes one-sided and unhealthy, with the narcissist always in control.

If you find yourself in a narcissistic relationship, it’s important to seek help from a professional who can help you break free from the cycle of manipulation.

narcissistic manipulation
mirroring manipulation

Why is The Narcissist Mirroring You?

Many people are familiar with the term “narcissism,” but fewer people understand how narcissists operate. One key tactic that narcissists use is called “mirroring.”

Essentially, the narcissist reflects to you everything that you like about yourself. They might share your hobbies, dress like you, and copy your mannerisms.

This can be very flattering at first, and it can make you feel as though you’ve finally found your soulmate. However, there’s a dark side to this behavior. Once the narcissist has gained your trust, they will start to gaslight you.

This means that they will twist your words and actions to make you doubt yourself. For example, they might say that you said something when you didn’t, or accuse you of being too sensitive when you’re just asserting your boundaries.

The narcissist in your life wants to make you question your reality and memory, which allows the narcissist to control you more easily.

Eventually, due to their lack of empathy, the narcissist will devalue you. This means that it will feel like they’re starting to nitpick everything about you until they find something they can use against you.

They might say that you’re not good enough for them, or that they never really loved you. This is often the beginning of the devaluation stage of the relationship, as the narcissist starts to discard you for someone else.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to remember that their behavior is not your fault. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, and it can be very difficult to break free from this type of manipulation.

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The Idea of Mirroring:

Narcissistic mirroring is a technique employed by narcissists to gain your trust and make you feel comfortable with them.

It’s based on the idea that we are attracted to people who seem to be like us, so the narcissist will mirror your likes, values, and interests back to you.

This makes you feel seen and understood as if you’ve known the narcissist for years. However, it’s important to remember that narcissistic mirroring is not about true closeness.

Narcissists tend to avoid intimacy, so this technique is simply a way to get you to lower your guard without becoming intimate with you.

Once they have gained your trust, they can start to manipulate and control you. So be aware of this tactic and don’t let yourself be taken in by it.

narcissist mirroring
mirroring and narcissism

Some Examples of Narcissistic Mirroring

Narcissist mirroring is a behavior characterized by the tendency to reflect the appearance, interests, and concerns of another person. It is often used as a form of flattery or manipulation, and it can be either outright or subtle.

While mirroring can be a perfectly normal behavioral pattern, it becomes problematic when it manifests in an excessive or unhealthy way. When used excessively, mirroring can be a sign of insecurity or an attempt to control the other person.

Examples of narcissistic mirroring include imitating another person’s style of dress, copying their mannerisms, facial expressions, and body language, or constantly agreeing with everything that you like.

If you suspect that someone in your life is engaging in mirroring, it is important to set boundaries and make it clear that this behavior is not acceptable while you are walking away.

When two people mirror each other, they are simply imitating the other person’s behavior. This often happens between friends or family members who trust each other.

Narcissists are known to mirror their victims to gain their trust more quickly. By mirroring someone, the narcissist makes that person feel seen and understood.

As a result, the victim starts to open up and share deep, personal things about themselves. The narcissist then learns which buttons to push to control their victim.

Eventually, narcissists use mirroring as a weapon to manipulate and attack your insecurities and vulnerabilities to feed their narcissistic supply.

The mirroring switches from being a positive reflection of what the victim desires and values, to being a negative reflection of those things.

This narc mirroring plays on the victim’s insecurity and lack of self-confidence, causing them to doubt themselves and their worthiness. Narcissistic mirroring is a manipulative tactic that can be used to control and erode one’s sense of identity.

“If you ride a motorcycle, they will love riding with you”

Narcissistic mirroring can look like a lot of things, but some common examples include always agreeing with the other person, never disagreeing or challenging them, being very supportive and positive, and being very attentive to their needs and wants. It can also involve copying the other person’s mannerisms, dress style, or speech patterns.

“If you have an Accent, they will mirror that same accent”

Don’t get me wrong, we’re talking soulmate vibes when they are learning your love language and being everything you’ve ever wanted, but if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

“Your Favorite color is their favorite color also”

If you’re in a relationship with someone who constantly mirrors your behavior, it’s important to have self-awareness and realize no one on earth is exactly like you.

“If you have a career, They also are interested in that career path”

Dealing With Narc Mirroring

Sam Vankin, a self-proclaimed narcissist, recommends using mirroring behavior against them as a way to deal with their abuse.

Narcissistic behavior is characterized by a need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and an inflated sense of self-importance.

Narcissists feel entitled to special treatment and often take advantage of others. They may also engage in manipulative behavior to get what they want.

The mirroring tactic involves responding to the narcissist’s behavior in a way that is similar to their behavior. So, if they shout, you shout.

If they leave, you leave. This tactic can be effective in dealing with narcissistic behavior because it makes the narcissist feel less powerful.

It also allows you to take control of the situation and set boundaries. When used effectively, the mirroring tactic can be an effective tool for dealing with narcissistic abuse.

They are not used to being treated the same way they treat others, and it can be confusing and disorienting for them. In some cases, it may even make them second-guess their behavior.

However, I would not recommend always employing this technique on a narcissist who is currently abusing you. Narcissists are experts at playing mind games, and they will likely use your behavior as a way to gaslight and manipulate you even further.

If you are in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, the best thing you can do is to get out and get help from a support group or hotline designed for victims of narcissistic abuse recovery.

narcissist mirroring words

Create Self-Awareness

It is important to be aware of how we can fall victim to people with NPD. This is when someone with narcissistic personality traits reflects to us their own worst qualities, to make themselves feel better about themselves.

This can lead to damaging our mental health and sense of self. We can protect ourselves against this by being aware of the red flags, such as feeling constantly inferior or invisible, or feeling like we are never good enough.

A word from Create Higher Vibrations

One of the most important things you can do for your mental health is to develop a strong sense of self-awareness.

This means being attuned to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and understanding how they affect others. It also means being able to stand up for yourself when necessary and setting boundaries with people who try to take advantage of you.

Unfortunately, some people are experts at narcissistic mirroring, which is a form of emotional manipulation.

These individuals are highly skilled at imitating other people’s behavior to take advantage of them. If you’re not careful, you could find yourself in a relationship with someone who is constantly trying to control and manipulate you.

However, there are ways to protect yourself against narcissistic mirroring. First, it’s important to be aware of the warning signs that someone is trying to manipulate you.

Pay attention to how the person makes you feel – if you often feel confusion, doubt, or fear around them, it’s a red flag. It’s also important to trust your gut; if something feels off, it probably is.

Finally, make sure that you have a support system of friends or family members who you can rely on for honest feedback and love.

With these tools in place, you can defend yourself against toxic mirroring and maintain a healthy sense of self.


Embodiment Coach Vishnu Ra
Vishnu Ra

Master Embodiment Coach |

Vishnu Ra is a Reiki Master & meditation coach with an impressive background in deep meditation. He has spent countless hours delving into the mysteries of human consciousness, and he is passionate about sharing his wisdom with others. Vishnu is also an entrepreneur and truth seeker, always on the lookout for new opportunities to explore. When he’s not sitting in meditation or teaching workshops on mindfulness, Vishnu loves being by the ocean!