8 Signs You’re Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Healing from Narcissistic abuse is one of the most difficult forms of abuse to heal from because it can be so hard to identify. Narcissistic abuse is usually very subtle and so hideous, people just can’t see it. Narcissists will do everything in their power to isolate you so you have no outside support.
It’s important that you know what signs of Narcissistic abuse and the indicators that you’re healing from narcissistic abuse, so let’s dive into this!
A Big indication that you are healing from narcissistic abuse is your ability to identify the signs of narcissistic abuse. This may be hard for someone who has never experienced it before, but the more you learn about this type of abuse and what makes it different than other types of emotional or physical abuse, the easier it will become to identify.
The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse Tends
to go like this:
- A relationship with a narcissist often starts with “love-bombing.” This is when they give you gifts or favors and say that they love you and want to be with you forever. Sometimes it happens very early in the relationship. You are their soulmate. During this phase, they are seeing just how far you will let them go. They are mirroring your very essence back to you as a manipulation so you feel as if they are the one.
- Sometimes, people will show a side of themselves that is different from what you first thought. This could happen when they are lying or if you notice a difference between what they say and what they do. The person might act differently around different people, like being kind to someone in front of them then insulting them behind their back. An example of this was when I first met my ex-narcissist, she always talked about how she hated her mother, but when her mother was around, she was very nice because her mom would buy her a lot of gifts and pay for dinners, etc…Sometimes, you might call the person out on this behavior or set a boundary to protect yourself from it. They will not be happy about that though! They will ignore your boundaries and push the limits.
- A narcissist will use the Devaluing stage to make you feel like you are not right or good enough. They might take your ideas or thoughts and say they are stupid. Or, they might tell you that everything is all your fault and blame everything on you. They will gossip about you to everyone you both know, this is the subtle way of starting to smear you in order to confuse and isolate you from any support in the future. Unfortunately, too many people are not aware of how toxic this behavior alone is. This is where they will attempt to make you look crazy so people doubt you and start to pity them.
- The relationship will often reach a point where you are discarded or you make the decision to say that it is over. You can do this by setting up some boundaries and going no contact with the narcissist. But if they try to get you back, the relationships WILL get worse, and then there may be more harm on your end. Once you attempt to implement your own control over yourself again, they will try to hoover you back in by promising to change or reverting back to the love-bombing persona. They wear many masks and become many different personalities.
Are You in a Relationship with a Narcissist?
To be in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic is fragmenting. They will fragment every part of who you are into multiple pieces until you no longer recognize who you are anymore.
Narcissists see nothing wrong with manipulating and lying to others to gain control or get what they want. When you are in a relationship with a monster, you will lose your autonomy to make decisions that are best for you because your decisions are made off the lies that are used by the narcissist.
They have zero empathy, none of their behavior affects them as they carry on with living day to day as if what they do is normal. They believe the world around them is like they are. Are you with a Narcissist?
Here Are Some Signs that you are in a Relationship with a Narcissist:
-They are a pathological liar. They have no regard for the truth and will lie again and again to get what they want.
The narcissist is always right, you’re wrong!
-Their lies may be harmless at first but as time progresses their lying becomes more frequent and extreme in order to control or exploit you.
-In the narcissist’s world you are worthless and do not deserve to make decisions for yourself.
-They want all of your attention so they will gaslight you in order to keep it all for themselves. This is a form of mental abuse that causes people with low self-esteem or a sense of identity to question their reality or sanity.
-They will deflect blame onto you no matter how much they hurt you and take all the credit for anything good that happens so it seems like their narcissistic behavior is your fault.
-Their needs are always more important than yours because in their mind they’re better or else why would anyone want to be with them?
-You are forced to watch your every move in order to not enrage them. This will slowly break you down.
-The narcissists will manipulate you to get what they want and blame you when it doesn’t work out for them like a child would do with an adult in order to avoid punishment. They often play games, show false emotions, give fake apologies as if their behavior is acceptable.
-The narcissist has no empathy or concern for how their behavior impacts others because everything is about them as if the world revolves around them.
-They will do anything to get what they want, even if it means hurting you over and over again.
-The narcissist makes you feel like a fool for not understanding that their behavior is normal because they know best about everything in the world while criticizing your every move or decision no matter how hard you try.
-The narcissist has a superiority complex which is the underlying problem with their behavior and they will punish you for not understanding or accepting this as reality.
-When something doesn’t go according to plan, instead of admitting that they are wrong about it or made an error in judgment, the narcissist will blame someone else for their mistake.
-They enjoy putting you down to make themselves feel better and have no qualms about making fun of your appearance, weight, or any other thing they don’t like about you in front of others for a laugh.
-The narcissist will not take responsibility for anything that goes wrong because it’s always someone else at fault or else it’s too much trouble to work on anything.
-They are the smartest person in the room and nothing is ever their fault because they never make any mistakes. According to them, they do everything the way they are supposed to do it, so society sees them as good.
-The narcissist will be critical of your appearance, clothes, weight, sex drive, or whatever they can judge you for so that it makes them feel better about themselves as if this somehow is loving to them.
-The narcissistic abuser thrives off of control and power so they will take whatever it takes to make you theirs as if you are property, they believe they own you.
-For the narcissist, success is defined as their happiness or getting what they want at any cost no matter how much pain this causes others.
You do not feel like yourself, you have changed and it is a change that does not feel good.
How to begin Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
When you are in an unsafe environment, it is hard to heal. You need to get away from the narcissist. If you stayed with a person who abuses you for a long time, you have typically grown accustomed to the misery of the environment.
After many months or years this, you will need the space to find yourself again. If you are with a narcissist, go no contact or minimal contact. If you have kids, try to get away from the narcissist.
If you have kids, they will be the new weapon to use to hurt you. Once you leave, it will become clear that the Narcissist hates you more than they love their own children by how they use them to get to you.
Remember narcissists cannot love anyone, and certainly do not love their children. It is a power and control issue for them.
With minimal contact, you need to see the narcissists for what they are and keep your expectations low. You can be sure that this person will try to get you back into the relationship.
But if they can’t do that, they won’t show empathy or understanding in your interactions with them. Remember do not give in and give them any EMOTIONAL reaction. This only validates their own inner narcissism.
Create clear boundaries, if you have children, keep all interactions to a minimum. You will never be able to co-parent with a narcissist, so there is no point in trying to communicate with them as if they are on the same team of raising a child. They will destroy their own children to feed their narcissism.
Create a support system around you that will help you implement some techniques to keep you in reality, remember you have experienced some of the most detrimental psychological abuse inflicted on humans. It is important to learn presence. Put together a trusted group of family or friends, or work with a coach. I have an 8-week Narccistic Abuse Recovery Program, you can see more here!
Signs You are Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Healing will be different for every person, we are all unique with our own life experiences that will play a role in how we move beyond this monstrous experience. some may take a few weeks, others may need a few years.
As for me, I went through many changes including a dark night of the soul, a rebirth spiritually. These experiences are life-altering, no matter how bad it got I can promise you, there is light and you will prosper into a much more authentic version of yourself as you move beyond this nightmare.
- You are beginning to find things you enjoy again, you are no longer obsessing over the narcissist. The ever-presence of them in your mind is fading.
- You will be more in touch with your feelings. You might not need to distract yourself as much from the outer world. You are feeling the alignment with your inner world.
- You are starting to take care of yourself and implementing habits that are in your best interest. Eating healthier, meditation or yoga, intentionally checking in with your inner feelings.
- Your mind is no longer wandering off living in the past, you find yourself more present.
- You are beginning to feel a sense of relief, you are seeing what a nightmare you have survived and what it has taught you about yourself.
- You are no longer afraid to talk about your experience and feel a desire to be of service to others that are experiencing this trauma.
- You are starting to trust yourself again. And I mean in a way that is intuitive. You are following what you feel more and more.
- Finally, You are Smiling more.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is not good. For most, that have experienced an intimate relationship with a narcissist it is absolute nightmare and one of the worst acts of betrayal a human can experience by another human.
It makes your body feel like it is always fighting, running away, or freezing. You will feel better when you are not around the narcissist. Time helps, but you will have to choose to heal in order to fully understand what you have experienced.
The post was written to provide hope and encouragement for those who have experienced narcissistic abuse. The key is to focus on yourself and your future, and how you move into the best version of yourself from this experience.
It’s important to take care of yourself with healthy habits like meditation or yoga or other healthy habits you enjoy in order to stay grounded during the healing process. Remember–you can’t change them so it might be best if you cut off all contact altogether! For more help navigating these difficult waters, feel free to reach out to me anytime by clicking>>>>Here!!