Why Do You Attract Toxic People? 7 Reasons to Grow From!
Do you often find yourself surrounded by people who don’t care about your feelings? Do they make fun of every little thing and never have anything nice to say, or do their comments always seem aimed at hurting the target rather than helping them grow as a person?
A Toxic relationship is not accidental – research suggests it may be because our own behavior attracts this type of negativity!
You may not be aware of it, but you are in control. Toxic people want your love and attention just like they want a pay raise at work or an upgrade on their car–they’re predators that look for any opportunity to get what they can’t earn by being productive! But here’s the thing:
YOU CAN AVOID THESE emotionally draining relationships with good guys because no one deserves them more than us; we need partners who will stand beside us through thick and thin – so why don’t ya think about becoming my friend?
Toxic individuals can be an absolute bane for your life. But the good news is, you don’t have to put up with them! Check out these five reasons why they are attracting all of this negativity and what kind of changes might help clear things up in no time at all:
Top 7 Reasons Why You May Attract Toxic People!
You Dislike Confrontation…
Whether you like it or not, the world is populated by individuals and conflicts. However, we would all love to avoid conflict as much as possible right?
Well, that’s something toxic personalities absolutely thrive off too! They want someone who will stand up for themselves no matter what so they can push them around without any consequences; feeling powerful in an argument when really nothing was resolved at all.
The more wronged one feels after getting bullied by their toxic partner/friend –the less likely he/she will be able to fight against future abuse.
It’s a delicate balance. You have to compromise, but it may seem like nothing in the end because an argument is just something that happens between friends or family members who love each other deeply enough not to let their disagreements get in the way of how they feel about one another.
Relationships are built on trust; both parties are responsible for what goes down no matter which side makes sacrifices every time there’s bad news from one party- if I were you (and this can apply more generally), then maybe leaving would be best.
Toxic people will do anything to get you into an argument. They’ll portray themselves as the victim, and it’s your fault for fighting back! Don’t let them gaslight or manipulate away any of those feelings- stand up when in doubt (even if they are right).
You Are a Perfectionist…
You blame yourself when things are not going perfectly designed and toxic people love this about you! They know that by putting a little pressure on you, they can get you to do things their way. It’s the old divide and conquer technique; once they break you down, it becomes much easier for them to control your every move.
Perfectionism is linked with anxiety and depression; both of which toxic people feed off of. They want you to be miserable so that they can feel better about their own lives.
You Ignore Your Own Needs…
When we’re always putting others first, it can be difficult to see the warning signs that we’re attracting toxic people. We might not even realize that we’re ignoring our own needs! But if we’re not taking care of ourselves, then we’re opening ourselves up to be taken advantage of by others.
When we’re not taking care of ourselves, we might find that we’re:
- -eating unhealthy foods
- -not getting enough sleep
- -spending too much time on our devices
- -engaging in self-destructive behaviors (i.e., drinking too much)
- -overlooking our own mental/emotional/physical struggles.
But if you’re unhappy, then you can’t expect to be happy for other people; which is what toxic people count on – they’re manipulative!
You Listen to Others…
Toxic people absolutely love talking about themselves. It’s their world and you are just in it!! Their problems, their issues, and life- it’s always something about them!
They never run out of stuff to complain about or vent with you being the good friend that listens when needed because they’re sad right? Toxic folks actually need someone who’ll give constant amounts of attention in order for those around them to understand how hard things are going on.
A good friend doesn’t just come to you and vent, they’re there for when we are down too. They try their best not to pile on more issues or give in to the urge of talking only about themself while never really giving attention in return.
You’re a People Pleaser…
People pleasers are attracted to toxic people and vice versus. We’d rather do anything in our power not to upset anyone else, even if that means going out of the way only to please someone who doesn’t deserve it! Why? It’s because we feel guilty for inconveniencing someone so we try and make up for it in any way possible- even if that means being walked all over.
But by doing this, we’re actually harming ourselves and not the person we think we’re trying to help. We need to start putting our own needs first and stop feeling guilty for things that are out of our control!
People-pleasing is a reflection of our own wounded inner child.
You Like Helping People…
You like to help others, after all, they are your friends, right?? Toxic people will take advantage of this and it reflects a self-worth issue within us. That we just can’t say no and always give in to those who demand so much from us.
That’s why many people-pleasers- those who put others first – will fall into the trap of toxic friendships! Toxic people know how to work it, especially if you’re ‘suckered’ into thinking that they need help because your good nature won’t let you say no.
The thing is, we can only help others if we’re first taking care of ourselves. And that means not giving in to the demands of those who are toxic! It is okay to say NO!! You are not a bad person by putting yourself first.
Loyalty is Royalty, so you Thought…
Loyalty is an awesome thing to possess. You try to stay true and loyal, always be there for the people in your life that you love as they are with you too!
If someone starts telling lies about how friendly or nice one of those friends may seem on paper but then quickly turn Toxic when it comes down to what matters most between us humans – like manipulating other’s feelings-, don’t let them get away with this sort behavior because we know it’s just not worth dealing with the manipulative person ever again; It’ll only hurt both parties involved more than anything else could…
Toxic people will take advantage of this. If you have ever been with a Narcissist, you have experienced this first-hand. They will literally drive you crazy, as they feed off of your energy and emotions with their words.
The truth is that they thrive on the fact that those who are close to them want to help them at ANY cost because we feel a sense of obligation due to the guilt trip they put us through, all while taking advantage of our loyalty.
In the end, it’s just not worth it to have a friendship with a toxic person. If someone is constantly making you feel bad about yourself, questioning your loyalty, or playing games – it’s time to walk away and never look back. Trust your intuition on this one! You’ll know when it’s time to cut the cord.
We all want to be loved and accepted, but sometimes the people who seem most likely to give us that are actually toxic. They can take advantage of our good heart and loyalty by using it against us or messing with our mental health. In order for this not to happen, we need boundaries, we need to begin to understand the root of our own attractions.
Be compassionate, loving, loyal… But make sure your mental health comes first! If someone is disturbing you mentally then they’re probably not right for you. You deserve a healthy relationship that won’t hurt you physically or mentally – book a Strategy Session with me today!
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