Arguments are a normal part of any healthy relationship and it’s important to work through them, but there are some arguments that could be detrimental to a relationship. Here are some of the arguments that you might want to avoid if you want to stay in a happy and healthy relationship!
Have you ever argued about money? This is one of the most common arguments couples have. It can start with something like “why didn’t you get paid this week?”
And then before you know it, they’re fighting over who does more around the house or why they don’t spend enough time together. If this type of argument becomes an ongoing problem, talk with your partner about how much each person contributes financially as well as what constitutes an equal amount of effort.
Remember, sometimes a financial argument isn’t really about money at all. It can be indicative of an underlying problem with another part of your relationship that’s going unrecognized! Arguing over sex:
Be careful when and where you have these arguments! If they become more than just a vocal disagreement, try to keep your disagreement calm and controlled. Otherwise, you might find yourself doing something that you’ll both regret in the morning.
“The Argument for Arguments”
The Arguments for Honesty
Being honest is a problem that many couples struggle with. It’s important, to be honest with your partner and yourself about your feelings, especially at the beginning of a relationship when things are all shiny and new. Saying what you want and being transparent will help keep you from getting into terrible situations where there aren’t any more second chances or forgiveness.
The Arguments for Respect
Respect is key to a healthy relationship, and one of the easiest ways to show respect is by listening. Listening is more than just hearing; it’s also paying attention to what your partner says and how they say it, and taking their perspective into consideration when responding. Respecting someone means respecting them for who they are, not for what they do.
The Arguments Against Relationships
Arguing against relationships isn’t necessarily an argument to avoid a relationship, but it’s important to remember that you can make your own decisions. If you don’t want to be in a relationship right now or with this person specifically, you don’t have to be.
The Arguments for What’s Best For You
Healthy relationships are built on compromise, but you also have to do what is best for you as an individual. It’s important to set personal boundaries and take care of yourself first before your partner or the relationship. That doesn’t mean putting your partner before you, but it does mean having a healthy balance between yourself and the relationship.
The Arguments for Understanding
Understanding what makes your partner happy can help make them happier in general. If you can figure out what they need to feel fulfilled or how they want you to treat them, it will bring more happiness and ease to your relationship.
The Arguments for Freedom
Your partner should bring you happiness and security, not fear or urgency. If your partner isn’t making you feel better about yourself or motivated to achieve things in life, it may be time to move on. Don’t be afraid of change; sometimes the best things in life are the things you never see coming.
The Arguments for Being Yourself
It’s important to be yourself, because if you aren’t being true to who you are, how can anyone else be? Living your own life and doing what you want to do first, it will make room for someone else and a relationship second. Living for someone else is one of the main reasons relationships don’t last, so keep that in mind when you are trying to make your partner happy.
The Arguments for Time
If the arguments in your relationship are starting to take a lot of time away from other things that you enjoy in life and don’t seem to be getting any better, it may be time to think about breaking up.
It’s important not to mistake arguing for communication; if you are spending a lot of your time talking about problems instead of enjoying the things that you love together, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate.
The Arguments for Ending It
The decision to end a relationship or stay together is ultimately up to you. If there are disagreements between you and your partner that cannot be resolved, then it’s time to take some time apart or consider breaking up. Your happiness and well-being should always come first, no matter what the consequences of the arguments in your life may be.
Types of Arguments in Relationships
Arguments can range from small disagreements to really heated arguments, and it’s important for couples to work through these arguments. The main thing that separates an argument from a fight is the level of anger and violence. While fighting may not be healthy for your relationship, arguments are natural and usually don’t end the relationship.
There are some disputes that are seen as more detrimental than others. The following are some of the types of disputes that could be toxic to a relationship:
These are just some examples of arguments that can be toxic to a relationship. You should try to avoid these types of disputes if you want a healthy relationship, but at the same time, it’s important to work through them so you don’t have resentments or bad feelings lingering in your relationship. It’s possible for couples to fight and argue without it causing damage or ceasing communication.
1. Arguments about finances: These can result in conflict over how money is allocated, managing debt, or paying bills. You may fight about who should pay for certain things like rent and bills, whose job it is to pay the car loan each month, or who goes on a date night with friends.
It can be helpful to create a budget together and find ways to save money. For example, shopping for clothes or going out on dates may be seen as less important than paying off debt or saving for a mortgage.
2. Arguments over children: Parents may disagree on what they want for their children or how to raise them. It’s common for people in a relationship to disagree about having kids if they should have any at all.
Some couples also differ when it comes to raising kids. It could be important to decide who will stay home with the kids while the other works full-time, which school choice you’ll make, or whether you’ll use childcare services.
3 . Arguments about sex: This is a common argument that can lead to problems with intimacy in the relationship. One partner may want to have more sex or a different type of sex than the other person.
Another dispute could be over whether you should use protection while having sex, monogamy, or how often you should be intimate. It’s important for couples to find ways to resolve these types of arguments and stay connected in sexual ways even when they’re fighting.
4 . Arguments over household/housework: it’s important for couples to split household duties fairly so each person has equal responsibility towards the home, bills, and children. It can be helpful if one person takes on more tasks throughout the week so that both partners are contributing equally on a daily basis.
This way, when it comes time to clean up after a party or get groceries, the tasks will be divided fairly and evenly. It’s also important for couples to maintain a clean environment, so each partner needs to do their part in keeping the house organized and clutter-free.
5 . Arguments over parenting styles: this is often a common source of tension between parents. Partners with different parenting styles should not blame one another for their different approaches because they’re both effective, as long as each partner respects the other’s way of parenting.
As a couple, it’s important to set limits for the children so that they understand the boundaries and structure of the household. It’s also essential to discuss any issues with your child in private rather than causing a scene or embarrassing them in public.
6 . Arguments over spending time together: it’s important for couples who are just starting off to spend as much time together as possible, but this may not be feasible after a few months or years.
Oftentimes, it’s challenging for partners to find quality time together due to their sexual desires and fears of rejection. Rejection is a normal part of a relationship, but it’s important to talk about rejection openly with your partner instead of avoiding the topic.
7 . Arguments over rules and religion: arguing about how you practice these aspects of your life or following different rules altogether could be problematic. It’s important to respect your partner and their faith, so it’s vital that couples find common ground over these issues.
The best way to reconcile differences in religion is to talk openly about how you were raised, why you believe the things you do, and who/what has influenced your beliefs.
How to Deal with an Argument
One of the simplest remedies for an argument is to give each other some space. This doesn’t mean that you have to stay away from your partner, but simply not talk or be around them for a little while. Sometimes, this will allow you both to cool off and think about what you’re going to say next.
You might want to rethink what the argument was really about in order to get over it. It’s also important not to actually just end the argument by walking away without finishing what you wanted to say first.
Getting upset could be due to a lack of sleep, too much stress at work, or because you ate something that disagreed with you whatever it is, there could be a simple explanation.
If things are getting heated, it’s important to take a step away from the argument. You can try physical separation first if you’re not too upset that is. If your partner doesn’t notice that you’ve left or had time to cool off, simply leave them a note telling them that you need some space and why – but without using any blame words.
It is important to understand each other, most arguments occur because there is no understanding of one another’s emotional needs and there is an expectation that partners in a relationship are supposed to be mind readers, so while cooling off, really reflect on why it got heated and see if you can regroup from a different mindset.
When to Seek Help
If these tips don’t work, it might be time to talk about the argument with a third party. This could be a family member you trust or a therapist/Coach who can help mediate and guide the conversation.
If you have any concerns about physical violence, abuse, or anger management it is important to talk to someone you trust as soon as possible. Never let yourself get to a point where you feel unsafe in any way because that may be tough to come back from. Here is a list of books that are great for helping you understand your relationship! (Link)
What is a Healthy Relationship Anyway and Why Does it Matter if You’re Happy or Not?
A healthy relationship is one in which both people are happy and understand themselves. It’s important to maintain a healthy relationship not only for the sake of your partner but also for your own sense of happiness.
There are many complicated factors that come into play when looking at what it means to be in a relationship, including how well you know yourself and how well you know your partner.
A lot of people think that being in a relationship means giving up everything that makes you who you are: your friends, hobbies, independence, etc., but this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Arguments are a normal part of any relationship and it’s important to work through them, but there are some arguments that could be detrimental to a relationship. The best practice is to create your own happiness and you will hold appreciation and gratitude for your partner rather than be dependent on them for your happiness and vice versus.
Is there ever a time when you should break up with your partner?
Sometimes you need to know when it’s time to break up with your partner. If you’re not happy, or they’re doing things that are bad for you, that may be the best choice for you and the best choice for them.
Remember that staying in a bad relationship isn’t going to make your life better. It’s never easy to break up with someone you care about, but sometimes it’s it has to happen.
If it gets to this point and you need help or are confused, reach out to Coach Vishnu Ra, and together you can work through it so you have a clearer understanding and direction!
If you’re ever on the fence about whether to stay in a relationship or break up, then reach out for help. You don’t have to do it alone and there are ways that we can give you clarity so that you know what’s best for your situation. Reach out today!