Red Flags: 11 Signs He Lacks Respect For You (And What To Do About It!)

lacks respect for you

Ladies, have you ever had that nagging feeling that the guy you’re talking to just doesn’t respect you? Maybe he makes snide remarks or dismissive comments that leave you feeling belittled and unheard.

Well, it’s time to trust your gut instinct because chances are, if he’s using these 12 phrases, he lacks respect for you.

As women, we’ve been conditioned to downplay our concerns and give the benefit of the doubt, but enough is enough. Whether it’s a coworker, friend, or even a romantic partner, disrespect should never be tolerated.

This article will shed light on the red flags to watch out for, so you can confidently call out disrespectful behavior and surround yourself with people who truly value you.

So, grab a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine, we don’t judge!), and get ready to nod along as we expose the infuriating phrases that scream “I don’t respect you.” It’s time to reclaim your power and demand the respect you deserve.

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If You SEE The Following Signs, He Lacks Respect For You!

The following will give you some insights into what it looks like when he lacks respect for you…

1. The Communication Black Hole:

Does your man act like your thoughts and feelings are classified documents? He never listens attentively, rarely asks for your opinion, and shuts down conversations when you try to express yourself.

This, my dear, is a recipe for emotional disconnect. A respectful partner will actively listen, engage in meaningful conversations, and consider your perspective.

2. The Dismissive Dud:

Ever feel like your experiences and opinions are brushed off like yesterday’s news? This dismissive behavior is a major disrespect red flag.

He might downplay your achievements, belittle your concerns, or make you feel like your feelings are “overreacting.” Don’t fall for it! Your feelings are valid, and a supportive partner will acknowledge and respect them.

3. Captain Micromanage at Your Service!

Is your man constantly trying to control your every move? Does he dictate your schedule, pick out your clothes, or make decisions without even consulting you? This is a major sign of a controlling personality.

A healthy relationship thrives on trust and independence. But it can be insidious. It might start subtly, with him “suggesting” what you wear or making “helpful” comments about your plans.

Over time, however, this behavior can escalate, leaving you feeling suffocated and unheard. If you notice your man exhibiting controlling tendencies, it’s important to nip them in the bud.

Empowerment Gathering
Empowerment Gathering

4. The Green-Eyed Monster Has Him on a Leash:

Does your guy get jealous if you so much as glance at another dude? Does he constantly track your whereabouts, monitor your social media activity, and question who you’re talking to?

This possessive and jealous behavior is a major red flag. A secure partner will trust you and understand that you have healthy friendships with other people. He will be happy for you when you interact with others and won’t feel threatened by your social circle.

On the other hand, a jealous partner will try to isolate you from your friends and family. He may make snide remarks about your friends, discourage you from going out with them, or even try to control who you follow on social media.

This type of behavior is not only controlling, but it can also be emotionally abusive. If your man exhibits signs of jealousy and possessiveness, it’s important to address the issue head-on.

Communicate your need for independence and set healthy boundaries. If he’s not willing to trust you, it might be time to walk away.

5. Trust Issues? We Got Trust Issues!

Does your man constantly check your phone, accuse you of lying without any basis, or get upset if you spend an evening out with your friends without him? This lack of trust can be incredibly damaging to a relationship.

A healthy relationship is built on a foundation of trust and honesty. If your partner constantly questions your whereabouts, your fidelity, or your honesty, it can be a sign of deeper issues.

Maybe he’s been cheated on in the past, or perhaps he has a low self-esteem that makes him question your commitment. Whatever the reason, a lack of trust can create a toxic environment in which you feel constantly monitored and judged.

If your man exhibits signs of trust issues, it’s important to communicate your concerns and try to get to the root of the problem. Is he willing to work on building trust? If not, the relationship may not be sustainable in the long term.

6. Lies, Lies, and More Lies!

Is your man a walking, talking Pinocchio? Does his nose grow longer with every fib? Okay, maybe not literally, but if you constantly find yourself questioning his truthfulness, it’s a major red flag.

We’re talking about a pattern of lies here, not just the occasional white lie to avoid a fight (although even those can be damaging if used excessively). Here’s why a partner who can’t be honest is a recipe for relationship disaster:

  • The Erosion of Trust: Honesty is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Without it, trust crumbles. If you can’t believe what your partner says, how can you feel secure and confident in the relationship? Constant lies create a constant state of suspicion and doubt.
  • Mixed Messages and Emotional Manipulation: Liars often weave elaborate stories to cover their tracks. This can leave you feeling confused, disoriented, and questioning your reality. It’s a form of emotional manipulation that can be incredibly damaging.
  • A Betrayal of Intimacy: Sharing your truth, your vulnerabilities, and your secrets is a core part of intimacy. When your partner lies, they’re essentially breaking that intimate bond. It sends the message that you don’t deserve honesty or respect.
  • A Life of Walking on Eggshells: If you’re constantly worried about getting lied to, it can make you cautious and guarded. You might start walking on eggshells, afraid to ask questions or express your concerns for fear of uncovering another lie. This creates a tense and unhealthy dynamic in the relationship.
  • The Cycle of Lies: One lie often leads to another. Liars often have to create elaborate stories to cover their tracks, which can snowball into a tangled mess of deceit. This can be incredibly frustrating and exhausting for the partner who’s on the receiving end.

7. The Supportive Sidekick Who Never Shows Up: Where’s My Cheerleader?

Every superhero needs a loyal sidekick, and in a relationship, your partner should be your biggest supporter. Does your man act like your dreams and goals are an unwelcome interruption to his personal hero journey? Here are some red flags to watch out for:

  • Dream Dismantler: Does he downplay your aspirations or dismiss them entirely? Maybe you dream of opening your bakery, but he scoffs and says it’s “too risky.” A supportive partner will encourage you to take calculated risks and chase your passions.
  • The Silent Treatment: Are you met with crickets when you excitedly share your latest accomplishment? Does he seem more interested in his phone than in celebrating your success? True partnership involves shared joy and celebrating each other’s victories.
  • The Competitor, Not the Champion: Does he turn your dreams into a competition? If you get a promotion, does he immediately brag about his own work achievements? A healthy relationship thrives on mutual support, not a constant one-upmanship game.
  • The Kryptonite to Your Confidence: Does his negativity drain your motivation? Instead of lifting you, does he chip away at your confidence with subtle jabs or discouragement? A supportive partner believes in you, even when you doubt yourself.

8. Personal Space? What Personal Space? Respecting Boundaries in Relationships

Imagine this: you’re finally unwinding after a long day, engrossed in a juicy chapter of your book. Suddenly, your man plops down next to you and starts scrolling through your phone without asking.

Ugh! Boundaries, my dear, are essential for a healthy relationship. Here’s why your partner respecting your personal space matters:

  • Healthy Boundaries Foster Trust: Respecting boundaries shows that you trust and value your partner’s privacy. It also allows each other to have space for individual growth and interests.
  • Privacy is Power: Everyone needs a little “me time” to recharge and de-stress. Having space to pursue your hobbies and interests without feeling obligated to spend every waking moment together keeps the spark alive.
  • Boundaries Create Clarity: Clear boundaries prevent misunderstandings and resentment. When you communicate your needs for privacy, it eliminates the guesswork and allows your partner to respect your space.
  • Knowing Where to Draw the Line: Boundaries aren’t just about physical space. They also encompass emotional boundaries and respecting your right to express your feelings (or not express them) as you see fit.

Remember: Open communication is key. Talk to your partner about your need for personal space and be respectful of theirs as well.

Awareness Moment
Awareness Moment: Disrespect Is a Red Flag

9. Emotional Intimacy? More Like Emotional Siberia! Building Bridges, Not Walls

A relationship thrives on emotional connection. If your man keeps his feelings under lock and key, leaving you feeling like you’re dating a glacier, it’s time to have a conversation. Here’s why emotional intimacy matters:

  • Vulnerability is the Key: True intimacy requires vulnerability. Sharing your feelings, both positive and negative, allows for deeper connection and understanding.
  • The Power of Two: Bottling up your emotions can create distance and emotional isolation. Being able to express your feelings openly allows your partner to be there for you during tough times and celebrate the good times with you.
  • Building Trust Through Openness: Sharing your emotional landscape with your partner builds trust and strengthens your bond. Knowing you can be vulnerable with each other creates a safe space for open communication.
  • Unraveling the Mystery: Does your man act like his emotional life is a top-secret government project? Emotional intimacy allows you to get to know each other on a deeper level, fostering a stronger connection.

Building emotional intimacy is a two-way street. Be open about your feelings and encourage your partner to do the same. Consider couples therapy if you’re struggling to connect on an emotional level.

10. Appreciation? Never Heard of Her! The Power of “Thank You”

Do you ever feel like you’re Sisyphus, perpetually pushing a boulder of chores and emotional labor uphill, only to have it roll back down the moment you look away?

Maybe you cook dinner every night, iron his shirts, and remember his grandma’s birthday (while he forgets yours), but never hear a word of thanks. Perhaps you go above and beyond to support his dreams, cheering him on at every game and listening patiently to his work woes, but your efforts go unnoticed.

This lack of appreciation can be incredibly hurtful, chipping away at your self-esteem and making you feel like you’re just an invisible cog in the relationship machine.

Appreciation is the glue that holds a relationship together. It’s the simple act of acknowledging your partner’s efforts, big and small. Here’s why it matters:

  • Feeling Valued and Seen: When your partner acknowledges and appreciates your contributions, it makes you feel valued and respected. It shows that they recognize the effort you put into the relationship and that they wouldn’t be where they are without your support.
  • Keeping the Spark Alive: Appreciation fuels the fire of love. Regularly expressing gratitude keeps the relationship from becoming stale and reminds you both why you fell for each other in the first place.
  • Encouraging Reciprocation: When you appreciate your partner, it sets a positive precedent. They’re more likely to return the favor and express appreciation for the things you do for them, creating a healthy cycle of reciprocity.
  • Boosting Happiness: Studies show that feeling appreciated can actually boost your happiness levels. Knowing your efforts are valued creates a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction within the relationship.

So, how do you get the appreciation you deserve?

  • Open Communication is Key: Don’t bottle up your feelings! Talk to your partner about your need for appreciation. Explain how their actions (or lack thereof) make you feel.
  • Specificity is Your Friend: Instead of a vague “thanks for everything,” be specific about what you appreciate. “Thank you for taking out the trash after that long work day” or “I appreciate you remembering to pick up milk” goes a long way.
  • Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Appreciation doesn’t have to be all talk. Maybe your partner responds better to gestures of affection. Leave them a little love note, cook them their favorite meal, or give them a back rub.
  • Lead by Example: Show appreciation for your partner’s efforts as well. Thank them for the little things they do, and express your gratitude for their presence in your life.

Remember: A healthy relationship is a two-way street. Communicate your needs, appreciate your partner, and work together to create a space where you both feel valued and cherished.

11. The Equality Equation Doesn’t Add Up: When Partnership Turns into Patriarchy

Imagine this: you’re planning a weekend getaway. You suggest a hiking trip excitedly, but your man scoffs and says you’d “hate it” because it’s “too outdoorsy.”

He then proceeds to book a weekend at a golf resort without even asking your opinion. Ugh! This, my dear, is a prime example of a relationship where the equality equation is way off balance.

A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and equal partnership. Here’s why it matters:

  • Respectful Dialogue: Decisions should be made through open communication and respect for each other’s thoughts and opinions. Your partner shouldn’t steamroll over your ideas or make unilateral decisions that impact you both.
  • Shared Power: A healthy relationship isn’t about who wears the pants. It’s about sharing power and decision-making responsibilities. This could involve taking turns planning vacations, managing finances together, or dividing household chores fairly.
  • Valuing Your Voice: Your partner should value your input and consider your perspective, even if they disagree with you. Feeling unheard and like your opinions don’t matter breeds resentment and can ultimately damage the relationship.
  • Building a Team: Think of your relationship as a team. You’re working together towards common goals, and each member’s contribution is equally important.
Reclamation of Power
Reclamation of Power

So, What Do You Do Now?

Empowering Yourself: Building Self-Respect to Ditch Disrespectful Partners

You deserve a relationship built on mutual respect and appreciation. If you identify red flags in your current situation, here are positive steps you can take to build unshakeable self-respect and move toward a relationship that values you:

1. Reconnect with Your Values and Goals:

  • Self-Discovery Journey: Grab a notebook and brainstorm! What are your core values? What are your dreams and aspirations? Write down everything, big or small. Is it traveling the world?

    Are you launching your own business? Reconnecting with these passions reminds you of your inherent worth and what truly matters to you. A partner who respects you will support your goals and celebrate your achievements.
  • Create a Vision Board: Once you have a clearer picture of your values and goals, create a vision board. This can be physical (cut-out pictures and inspirational quotes from magazines) or digital (use Pinterest). Visualizing your goals keeps them at the forefront of your mind and fuels your motivation.

2. Cultivate Healthy Self-Esteem:

  • Challenge Negative Self-Talk: We all have that inner voice sometimes. But if yours is constantly putting you down, it’s time to fight back! When negative thoughts creep in, challenge them with positive affirmations. For example, if you hear yourself thinking “I’m not good enough,” replace it with “I am worthy of love and respect.”
  • Celebrate Your Wins (Big and Small!): Did you finally master that challenging yoga pose? Did you get that promotion at work? Big or small, acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments. This reinforces your sense of self-worth and reminds you of your capabilities.
  • Treat Yourself with Kindness: We often prioritize everyone else’s needs before our own. Make a conscious effort to show yourself some love. Take a relaxing bath, indulge in a hobby you enjoy, or spend time with supportive friends.

3. Set Boundaries and Assert Yourself:

  • Know Your Limits: Identify what behaviors you absolutely won’t tolerate in a relationship. Is it constant criticism? Disrespect for your privacy? Having clear boundaries empowers you to say “no” to things that don’t align with your values.
  • Practice Assertive Communication: Communicating your needs and boundaries effectively is crucial. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and avoid accusatory language. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me!” try “I feel unheard when you interrupt me.”
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away: It’s not always easy, but if someone repeatedly disrespects you and shows no willingness to change, you deserve to walk away. Leaving a relationship that doesn’t serve you is a powerful act of self-love.

4. Invest in Yourself:

  • Learn Something New: Taking a class, learning a new skill, or pursuing a hobby can boost your confidence and self-esteem. Engaging in activities you enjoy reminds you of your individuality and talents.
  • Build a Strong Support System: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who uplift and encourage you. Having a strong support system reminds you that you’re not alone and provides a safe space to share your feelings and experiences.
  • Practice Self-Care: Make taking care of yourself a priority. Get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential for building self-respect and resilience.

Building self-respect is a journey, not a destination. There will be bumps along the road, but by focusing on your values, cultivating healthy habits, and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you’ll develop the strength and confidence to create a life filled with love and respect.

Final Thought: Don’t Settle for Disrespect!

Dating can be confusing, but it shouldn’t leave you feeling disrespected or undervalued. The guys you date should be enthusiastic about getting to know you, respectful of your time and feelings, and genuinely interested in building a real connection.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of disrespect, it’s time to break free. You deserve better! Coach Vishnu Ra can help you identify red flags, communicate your boundaries, and build healthy relationships.

Don’t wait another minute. Sign up for a coaching session with Coach Vishnu Ra today and start your journey to a love story that deserves a standing ovation, not a cringe!

Isabella Hartley

Contributor @ createhighervibrations.com

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Isabella Hartley

Meet Isabella Hartley, a dedicated Relationship Coach and Yoga Instructor with a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Psychology and 8 years of experience in trauma healing. Isabella’s unique approach to wellness combines deep psychological insights with practical relationship guidance and transformative yoga practices. She’s passionate about empowering others to find self-love and understanding, paving the way for holistic healing and richer, more meaningful connections. Isabella’s philosophy centers on nurturing the inner light within each individual, helping them discover and cherish their path to emotional wellness.