Ever Had That Nagging Feeling?

Do we sometimes feel like the guy we’re talking to lacks respect for us? Maybe he makes snide remarks or dismissive comments, leaving us feeling belittled and unheard.

A lot of us have been conditioned to internalize blame or downplay our concerns. We might even think his behavior is just insecurities affecting relationships. But enough is enough. Whether it’s a coworker, friend, or romantic partner, disrespect should never be tolerated.

We’re here to help each other recognize the red flags that show a lack of respect. This way, we can stand up for ourselves and find people who truly value us.

Grab a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine, no judgment here!), and let’s dive into the signs that scream, “I don’t respect you.” We’ve got this, and together, we can make sure we’re treated with the respect we deserve.

If You SEE The Following Signs, He Lacks Respect For You!

The following will give you some insights into what it looks like when he lacks respect for you…

1. He Ignores What We Say

Does he act like our thoughts and feelings are just background noise? If he never listens attentively, shuts down conversations, or dismisses our opinions, it’s a red flag. A respectful partner will listen, engage in meaningful conversations, and consider our perspective with empathy. We deserve basic respect, let’s not settle for anything less.

Let’s remind ourselves that our voice matters. We should be with someone who values what we have to say, even during the mundane moments.

2. He Downplays Our Achievements

Ever feel like our accomplishments are brushed off? If he downplays our achievements or makes us feel like we’re “overreacting” about our emotions, that’s a clear sign of disrespect. A supportive partner will celebrate our successes, even if they’re struggling with their mental health issues.

True respect isn’t just politeness, it’s genuine admiration for our efforts. Our achievements are important, and the right partner will lift us up. Let’s be with someone who wants to see us shine, no matter what.

Awareness Moment: Disrespect Is a Red Flag

3. He Tries to Control Us

Does he try to control our schedule, choose our clothes, or make decisions without asking? This kind of controlling behavior often starts subtly but escalates over time. We need to know the difference between compliance and assertiveness, healthy relationships are built on trust, independence, and being assertive about our needs.

Setting healthy boundaries early on helps protect our freedom. For example, we might set a boundary around how much alone time we need each week or establish that decisions affecting both of us should be discussed together. We deserve to feel like equals in a relationship, not someone being managed or controlled. Remember, it’s our life too.

4. He Gets Jealous Easily

If he constantly questions our interactions with others or tries to control who we talk to, that possessiveness is a big red flag. Responding to this kind of behavior is important. Try calmly asserting your need for independence and explaining why trust is essential. If the possessiveness continues, despite your efforts, ask yourself if this relationship is truly good for your well-being.

A secure partner understands we all deserve baseline respect, including the freedom to have friends. They don’t treat relationships as transactions where trust has to be “earned” by constant compliance. Let’s not let jealousy isolate us from the people who care about us. Friends and social connections are crucial for our well-being. If he can’t handle that, it’s his problem, not ours.

5. He Has Trust Issues

Does he check our phones or accuse us of lying without reason? Constant suspicion creates a toxic environment where we feel judged, anxious, and emotionally drained. Over time, this can lead to a loss of self-worth and increased stress, making it difficult to maintain a healthy sense of well-being.

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If he’s unwilling to work on his insecurities and lacks empathy, it may be time to rethink things. We need someone who believes in us and isn’t constantly suspicious. It’s exhausting to be under a magnifying glass all the time. We deserve peace, not constant scrutiny.

6. He Lies Regularly

A pattern of dishonesty, even with “small” lies, can destroy trust. If we can’t believe what he says, how can we feel secure? Honesty is key for intimacy, and constant lies create a toxic dynamic where we’re left questioning everything.

When someone lacks respect, dishonesty often follows, showing a disregard for common decency. We want honesty because it’s the basis of feeling safe. We should never feel like we have to play detective to find out the truth.

7. He Doesn’t Support Our Dreams

Does he dismiss our goals or seem uninterested in what we achieve? A supportive partner encourages us to chase our passions, not belittle them. Mutual support is key if he’s not cheering us on, it’s worth asking why.

There’s a difference between basic respect and earned respect—support for our dreams should never be something we have to “earn.” We all deserve a cheerleader who’s in our corner, and we should never feel guilty for wanting that. Our dreams matter, and we should be able to share them with someone who genuinely cares.

8. He Disrespects Our Boundaries

We all need personal space. If he scrolls through our phone without permission or ignores our need for alone time, it’s a clear boundary violation. Healthy boundaries are essential for trust, growth, and respect.

Setting boundaries allows us to assert ourselves and ensures that both partners respect each other’s autonomy and needs. Boundaries aren’t optional—they’re necessary. When someone pushes our boundaries, it’s a sign that they’re not respecting us as they should. Let’s stand firm and protect our space.

9. He Avoids Emotional Intimacy

Emotional connection is crucial. If he keeps his feelings locked away, it’s tough to build a deep bond. We can encourage openness. But if he’s unwilling to share, it may be a sign he’s not ready for real intimacy.

Emotional distance often comes from social norms that discourage vulnerability. We need someone who understands that true strength is in being open. We deserve someone willing to share their fears, dreams, and everything in between. It’s about building a bridge, not a wall.

10. He Doesn’t Appreciate Us

Do our efforts go unnoticed? A lack of appreciation can lead to hurt feelings and resentment. A healthy relationship involves both partners acknowledging each other’s contributions.

It’s not just about politeness; true respect means genuine appreciation. Let’s express our need for appreciation and ensure we get the recognition we deserve. We deserve someone who thanks us for the little things and notices our efforts. A simple “thank you” can go a long way. Let’s make sure we’re getting what we need.

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11. He Makes Decisions Without Us

Does he make plans that affect both of us without even asking? Respectful relationships are built on mutual decision-making. We deserve to have our input valued, and our voice heard.

There are different levels of respect—and we deserve to be equals. Every decision should feel like a team effort. We’re partners, not bystanders. Let’s insist on having our say in the things that matter to us.

What To Do Next

We deserve a relationship built on respect and appreciation. If we recognize any of these signs, it’s time to take action:

Reconnect with Our Values: Reflect on what truly matters to us. Write down our goals and values to remind ourselves of our worth. Our values define who we are, and it’s important to remember what makes us, us. Let’s take time to reconnect with our passions and priorities.
Set Boundaries: Identify what behaviors are unacceptable. Practice assertive communication—use “I” statements to express our needs without blaming. Boundaries are a way to protect ourselves, and setting them isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. Let’s be clear about what we need and make sure we’re heard.
Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away: If he keeps disrespecting us despite our efforts, it might be time to walk away. Leaving a toxic relationship is a powerful act of self-love. We deserve to be with someone who sees our value. Walking away isn’t failure; it’s making room for something better.
Invest in Ourselves: Pursue hobbies, learn new skills, and surround ourselves with supportive friends. Focusing on our growth strengthens our self-esteem and helps us build a fulfilling life. Let’s invest time and energy in things that bring us joy. We’re worth the effort, and self-investment is never wasted.

Final Thoughts

Dating should be about mutual respect and genuine connection. If we’re feeling disrespected, it’s time to break free and find someone who values us. We deserve a relationship that brings out the best in us—one that makes us feel heard, seen, and appreciated every single day.

We’re not here to settle; we’re here to thrive. Let’s find the kind of love that feels like home, not a battlefield.

Ready to take the next step? Coach Vishnu Ra is one option that can help us identify red flags, set healthy boundaries, and build the relationships we deserve. There are also many other resources available, like support groups, books, or online communities, that can guide us on this journey.

Sign up for a coaching session today and start our journey toward love and respect. We’ve got this.