Signs You Are Dating a Man Child and How to Handle It
When I first started dating my boyfriend Jim, I thought he was just a fun-loving, silly guy. But over time, I realized his behaviors were signs. I was dating an adult man who acts like a child, also known as a “man child.”
At first, it was cute and endearing. But dealing with a man child every day made me frustrated and I started to rethink our relationship.
What is a Man-Child?
A man child is a grown man. He displays emotional and behavioral traits usually associated with teenagers and children. He does this rather than displaying the maturity expected at an adult age.
For example, a man-child may avoid taking responsibility for their actions. He might rely financially on others. He can lack ambition. In general, he might not display the maturity expected of their age.
Dating a manchild can make you feel like you’re babysitting rather than having an equal partnership.
12 Signs You Are dating a man child
Do you recognize any of the man child signs below?
1: Avoiding Responsibility
The biggest sign you’re dating a man child is their tendency to avoid responsibility at all costs. When something goes wrong, a man child makes excuses. They blame others or deny any responsibility for the situation.
They can never just own up to their mistakes. This makes resolving conflicts difficult. A man-child won’t take accountability for their part in the issues.
For example, one time Jim forgot to pay an important bill on time. Instead of apologizing for messing up, he blamed me for not reminding him. This blame shifting means nothing ever gets resolved.
2: Running to Their Parents for Help
An adult should be able to handle personal and financial matters themselves. But a man-child still relies on their parents to deal with problems and make decisions.
When Jim faces something tough, like car trouble or a career decision, he immediately calls his parents. That’s always his first instinct. He’ll even ask them to help out with money instead of figuring it out himself.
This just shows he isn’t capable of adult independence and still depends on his mom and dad. It puts a lot of pressure on our relationship.
3: Being Financially Dependent
Speaking of money, financial dependence is a huge red flag you’re dating a man-child. They may ask you to cover their bills or rely on family members for cash. They generally struggle with managing finances. It all points to immaturity.
Jim expects me to handle all our household expenses even though he makes a decent salary. Whenever I suggest budgeting or saving money, he complains.
He says it’s too boring and stressful to deal with. This financial irresponsibility makes it hard to do things like save up for a house or retirement together.
4: Immature Communication Habits
Clear and mature communication skills are essential for a healthy relationship. A man-child avoids mature conversations. Instead, he gives his partner the silent treatment or has outbursts rather than discussing issues.
For example, if I even gently broach a difficult topic with Jim, he is quick to get defensive. Then he’ll either explode in anger or give me the cold shoulder for days. He waits until I apologize, even when I’ve done nothing wrong.
These explosive emotional reactions make it impossible to have productive conversations addressing problems in our relationship.
5: Inability to Handle Basic Adult Tasks
There’s nothing wrong with needing help around the house now and then. A grown man should have basic life skills. This includes cooking simple meals, doing laundry, cleaning up, and handling household tasks. However, Jim still heavily relies on me for all these day-to-day tasks.
No matter how many times I show him easy recipes or ask for help with chores, he acts helpless. It’s like he doesn’t even try.
He’ll feign ignorance and make excuses about being too busy or tired from work to contribute. It’s frustrating feeling like his mother rather than girlfriend.
6: Lack of Drive and Ambition
It’s okay not to have big career goals. But a man-child shows little drive or ambition to improve themselves in any way. They coast along in life just having fun in the moment versus setting personal goals for growth.
Jim has bounced between entry-level jobs and just does enough to get by rather than applying himself. Whenever I try discussing making healthier lifestyle changes or taking steps to advance his career, he changes the subject.
This lack of motivation even towards small self-improvements over time wears down the relationship. It holds both people back from evolving together.
7: Dodging Serious Conversations
An emotionally mature adult can have discussions about important relationship matters like values, future goals, and dealing with conflicts.
A man-child avoids serious talks or cracks jokes during them. Deep down, they can’t handle the realities and responsibilities of an adult relationship.
When I bring up concerns about our relationship, Jim responds with a silly quip. He uses humor to change the subject and avoid the discussion.
Or he’ll suddenly remember an errand he needs to run. It makes me feel like he doesn’t take our partnership or future together seriously. This is a big sign of an emotionally immature partner.
8: Disrespectful Attitudes
Even if they don’t mean to, a man-child often comes across as disrespectful through their speech and actions. Immature behaviors like making fun of their partner’s appearance, interests, or values all demonstrate a lack of respect.
Jim often mocks my hobbies and career ambitions. Instead of supporting my goals, he calls them “a waste of time.”
Demeaning attitudes erode emotional intimacy and trust that should form the foundation of a relationship.
9: Childish Behaviors
Even though the man-child is an adult on paper, their mental age seems to hover somewhere around high school. They engage in juvenile behaviors like practical jokes, speaking in silly voices/accents, obsessively playing video games, and generally clowning around.
At first, I found Jim’s goofy antics charming. But the older we get, the more embarrassing and tiresome it becomes to have a partner acting half their age. It makes me question if he’ll ever mature enough to handle the complexities of life and relationship.
10: Emotional Immaturity
Managing emotions skillfully is a hallmark of maturity. But Jim tends to have dramatic emotional outbursts over minor inconveniences. He also demonstrates very little empathy for how his actions impact me or others.
For example, if he says something hurtful, Jim won’t even try to see my perspective. In his mind, I’m just “overreacting” and he did nothing wrong.
This self-centeredness and inability to self-reflect creates a disconnected partnership making both people feel alone.
11: Entertainment Addiction
There’s nothing wrong with playing the occasional video game or binging a TV series now and then. But when a grown man prioritizes gaming and media entertainment over life responsibilities, it’s gone too far.
No matter what’s happening, Jim always makes time for gaming, streaming shows, or scrolling social media. It’s his priority, no matter what.
I’ll ask him to join me for a nice dinner out, and he’ll choose staying home to play instead. His entertainment addiction makes me feel neglected.
The more he gets absorbed in artificial worlds, the less motivated he becomes. It affects how much he shows up in our relationship.
12: Needy for Validation
We all enjoy praise now and then. But healthy adults have a strong sense of self-confidence and worth that isn’t dependent on others’ opinions.
When Jim feels even slightly criticized or thinks he underperformed, he spirals into anxiety. He won’t calm down until I soothe his ego with compliments and reassurance.
This constant validation-seeking is exhausting. I end up spending more energy propping up his fragile self-esteem versus enjoying intimate emotional connections.
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How Can I Handle Being in a Relationship With a Man-Child?
The Takeaway About Relationships with a Man-Child
The most important thing I’ve learned from my challenges with Jim is this: both people must be willing to evolve. Without that, growth in the relationship is impossible. They also need to confront their own flaws for a partnership to thrive.
Recognizing signs I’m dating a man-child has been a wake-up call. Still, real change requires commitment from both sides through open and compassionate communication.
I now realize I need to set clearer expectations and boundaries. For me to stay in the relationship long-term, certain behaviors must improve. My needs matter just as much as my partner’s.
Jim shows some man-child tendencies, but only he can choose to take responsibility for his maturity. The decision to grow is his alone.
My eyes are wide open to the red flags now. So I will continue encouraging small positive steps while observing closely if real change is happening. If Jim refuses to grow and keeps disrespecting my needs, I’ll have to accept that we likely don’t share the same values. It may be time to move on. We likely don’t share the same values about what creating a life partnership entails.
As painful as it would be, in that case I must demonstrate self-love by making space for a more compatible match. One who can meet me on equal emotional ground. Life is short and I deserve to feel fulfilled in romantic relationships, rather than perpetually unsatisfied.
We all contain endless potential for growth when we commit to self-improvement. I hope that by highlighting these common signs of a man-child mentality, others in similar situations can reflect on their own behaviors. It’s important to take an honest look.
