Have you ever felt weighed down by self-doubt, questioning whether you’re enough? You’re not alone. Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that self-worth is shaped by experiences, thoughts, and social interactions. The good news? It can be strengthened.

As someone who has studied self-development and worked with individuals on confidence-building, I’ve seen how small shifts in mindset can create lasting change.

Learning to appreciate yourself without external validation is not about achieving perfection, it’s about changing the way you see yourself.

What is Self-Worth?

Self-worth is the foundation of confidence. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading self-compassion researcher, describes self-worth as an internal belief. A belief that we deserve love, respect, and happiness—independent of achievements or others’ opinions.

Many factors influence self-worth. These include beliefs, thoughts, feelings, relationships, and personal experiences. These factors can either build us up or bring us down, depending on how we interpret them.

For instance, believing in your abilities can improve your internal worth, while doubting yourself due to negative relationships can harm it. Recognizing these influences is the first step in taking control of your self-worth.

What happens in childhood and how we interact with important people can shape our self-worth. For example, positive reinforcement from parents can create a strong sense of self-worth, while constant criticism can make us doubt our value.

To reframe past negative experiences, try focusing on what you learned from them and how they made you stronger today. Understanding these influences helps build healthy self-worth and allows us to grow beyond the limitations they may have created.

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Negative self-talk is a major barrier to self-worth. According to Dr. David Burns, a cognitive-behavioral psychologist, negative thoughts distort reality and reinforce self-doubt.

Recognizing these thoughts and challenging them is key to shifting your mindset. For example, if you think, ‘I’m not good enough,’ try reframing it to, ‘I am doing my best, and that’s enough.’

Challenge these thoughts to see if they are facts or just fears. Often, they are unfounded fears and do not reflect reality. By consistently challenging these negative thoughts, you can rewire your thinking and develop a more positive self-view.

Be kind to yourself and do activities that highlight your strengths. Setting boundaries is also key. Setting boundaries is not about pushing people away, it is about protecting your well-being and ensuring space to grow.

Learning to say no when needed is a powerful way to reinforce your self-worth, showing yourself and others that your needs matter.

Building self-worth takes time and effort. It involves practicing self-kindness, finding supportive friends, and focusing on growth. Self-worth is a journey that involves continuous learning and reflection. Each small step you take towards valuing yourself contributes to a more stable and positive sense of who you are.

A man holding a stick it note showing that self worth is worth it.

Key Factors Affecting Self-Worth

Self-worth changes based on many factors, including beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and mental well-being. Each of these factors plays a significant role in shaping how we view ourselves. Let’s look at what influences it in more detail:

Relationships: Relationships affect self-worth. Healthy, supportive relationships can lift us, while toxic ones make us doubt our value. Friends, family, and romantic partners who support and respect you contribute to a positive self-image, whereas those who belittle or criticize can damage your sense of self-worth over time.
Health and Fitness: Physical health can improve self-worth. Taking care of your body through exercise, good nutrition, and rest helps improve how you see yourself. Feeling physically strong or healthy can give you a sense of accomplishment and control, which boosts self-esteem.
Career and Hobbies: Success in your career or hobbies can boost self-worth. Failures can make us doubt ourselves, but remember, your worth is not defined by achievements. Engaging in activities you enjoy and improving your skills can make you feel capable and valuable, regardless of external success.
Financial Situation and Appearance: Society often values wealth and beauty. Learning to value yourself beyond appearance and financial status helps build stable self-worth. While financial stability and looking good can influence how we feel, true self-worth comes from qualities like kindness, perseverance, and integrity.
Childhood Experiences: Positive childhood experiences help build self-worth, while negative ones can harm it. Reparenting, giving yourself the love and support you lacked as a child—can help boost your self-worth. It involves understanding the needs that were not met in childhood and finding healthy ways to meet them now.

Understanding these factors is like putting together pieces of a puzzle. It takes time, and that is okay. Each piece you add helps create a clearer picture of your value, allowing you to build a stronger foundation for your self-worth.

How to Assess Your Self-Worth

To understand your self-worth, ask yourself these questions:

Do you appreciate yourself, or do you hold on to past mistakes?
How would you describe yourself? What positive words would you use?
Are your thoughts positive or negative?

Answering these questions can help you understand your self-worth. Journaling your answers can provide deeper insights and help track your progress over time. Try prompts like, ‘What are three things I value about myself today?’ or ‘How did I overcome a recent challenge?’ to get started.

Consider keeping a journal where you reflect on positive experiences and challenges. Writing down your thoughts can help clarify your feelings and provide evidence of your growth over time.

Self-reflection is an essential part of building self-worth. By understanding where you stand, you can identify areas for growth and celebrate your strengths.

Journaling not only helps in reflection but also in reinforcing positive beliefs about yourself. Make it a regular practice to write about your successes, no matter how small they seem.

An illustration of self esteem enhancement

Why Self-Worth Matters

High self-worth brings confidence. It affects how we interact with others and how we set boundaries. People with high self-worth take risks, set healthy boundaries, and pursue their dreams. They understand that their value is not tied to the outcome of their efforts but rather to who they are as individuals.

A 2017 study found a link between positive self-worth and well-being. Healthy self-worth positively affects all areas of life, including relationships and happiness.

When you believe in your worth, you are more likely to engage in behaviors that support your health and happiness. You prioritize your needs, pursue goals that matter to you, and surround yourself with supportive people.

Signs of Low Self-Worth

Low self-worth often leads to fear of failure, difficulty accepting praise, and a focus on weaknesses. It can make us feel undeserving of love or happiness, causing us to settle for less or avoid opportunities.

People with low self-worth may shy away from challenges because they fear they will fail or that they are not capable.

Research from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) shows that low self-worth is strongly correlated with anxiety and depressive disorders. However, building self-compassion and self-care routines can help disrupt these negative cycles.

For example, try a simple breathing exercise, breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for four counts. Alternatively, reach out to a trusted friend to talk about how you’re feeling.

It also takes consistent effort and support. Building self-worth is a gradual process, but with each small positive step, the negative cycle can be disrupted.

Effective Ways to Improve Self-Worth

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, suggests ways to improve self-worth:

Engage in Enjoyable Activities: Find hobbies that bring you joy, such as painting or hiking. These activities remind you of your talents. Doing things you love helps reinforce the idea that you deserve happiness and fulfillment.
Exercise: Physical activity boosts mood and self-perception. It doesn’t have to be intense—any exercise helps. Regular movement can reduce stress and help you feel more connected to your body, which in turn boosts your self-worth.
Combat Negative Thoughts: Thoughts are not facts. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations, such as, “I’m learning, and I’ll keep improving.” With practice, replacing negative thoughts becomes easier, and your mindset will shift towards a more positive outlook.
Seek Support: A trained professional can help you work through past traumas and develop a healthy sense of self-worth. Therapy can provide tools to manage negative thoughts and build a more positive relationship with yourself. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you is also essential.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to how we view ourselves. A healthy sense of self-esteem helps us handle challenges and setbacks. Low self-esteem creates negativity, making it hard to face obstacles and grow. Building self-esteem is about changing the way we see ourselves and valuing our abilities.

Cultivating healthy self-esteem means challenging negative beliefs, recognizing strengths, and building positive relationships. It’s like gardening, you remove self-doubt and plant self-respect and love.

Just like a garden, self-esteem needs regular care and attention. With time and effort, you can nurture it into something strong and resilient.

An illustration of ways to improve self-worth and self-esteem.

Practical Tips to Boost Self-Esteem

Here are techniques to boost self-esteem:

Recognize Strengths: Celebrate your skills, no matter how small. Take note of your daily achievements, and remind yourself of what you are capable of.
Build Positive Relationships: Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up. Positive relationships can encourage and reinforce your sense of worth.
Practice Self-Kindness: Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat a struggling friend. When you make a mistake, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s part of being human.
Learn Assertiveness: Communicate your needs and desires clearly and respectfully. Assertiveness is not about being aggressive—it’s about valuing your own needs as much as others.
Say “No”: Set boundaries to protect your well-being. Saying no to things that do not serve you is a powerful way to take care of yourself and reinforce your values.
Embrace Challenges: Set goals and achieve them to build your confidence. Start with small, achievable goals, and gradually take on bigger challenges. Every goal you accomplish reinforces your belief in your abilities.

Conclusion

Your worth isn’t something you have to prove—it’s something you already have. The real challenge is believing it. Every time you choose self-kindness over self-doubt, you strengthen your confidence. You don’t need permission to value yourself.

Just start.

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