5 Disturbing Sexual Habits of a Narcissist You Need to Know In 2024

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is already a challenging experience. When it comes to sexual encounters, it can feel like you’re being used. You will also feel manipulated and discarded.

In this article, I’ll break down five disturbing sexual habits of a narcissist. I will explain why they behave the way they do. I will also show how their actions impact you emotionally and mentally.

As a narcissistic abuse recovery professional, I’ve seen firsthand how deeply hurtful these dynamics can be.

If you’ve ever felt confused or devalued after a sexual encounter with a narcissist, you’re not alone. The next few minutes will help make sense of it all.

Are You in a Relationship with a Narcissist or a Sexual Narcissist?

Being involved with a narcissist can be incredibly confusing and painful. This is true whether they fall under the category of a general narcissist or a sexual narcissist. Although the two terms sound similar, there are important differences between them that are worth understanding.

A sexual narcissist exhibits narcissistic traits. These include entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for validation. These traits are primarily within a sexual context.

They focus on using sex to reinforce their ego. They use it to control their partner. They often disregard their partner’s emotional and physical needs.

For example, they will demand sex on their terms, without considering your mood or well-being. They see sexual acts as a way to boost their self-image, frequently ignoring whether their partner is satisfied or comfortable.

On the other hand, a general narcissist exhibits these behaviors across all areas of life, not just in the bedroom. They dominate conversations.

They lack empathy. They expect others to cater to their needs without reciprocation. In the bedroom, these traits simply become more amplified and pronounced.

The line between the two can sometimes blur, especially since narcissists, in general, often show some level of sexual entitlement. The distinction lies in the scope of the behaviors.

If someone’s manipulative, self-centered actions are limited to their sexual relationships, they’re likely a sexual narcissist. If these behaviors pervade all areas of life, you’re dealing with a more generalized narcissist.

Understanding this distinction is essential. It helps you recognize the root of their behavior. This understanding can guide your decision on how to move forward.

Whether you’re dealing with a sexual narcissist or a general one, the outcome is often the same. Your emotional and physical needs end up taking a backseat to their desires.

If you’re feeling confused or hurt by their actions, it’s important to take steps toward protecting your emotional well-being. Many people in these situations find relief in therapy or support groups. They can process their experiences with others who understand.

Sources such as The Good Men Project provide helpful insights into the behaviors of narcissists in sexual relationships. They also explain ways to protect yourself from their manipulation.

5 Weird Sexual Habits of a Narcissist

Let’s dive into 5 disturbing sexual habits of a narcissist that they use subtly to hold power and control over you:

1. Approach-Avoidance: A Narcissist’s Manipulative Power Game

One of the most confusing sexual behaviors of a narcissist is the constant game of approach-avoidance. They’ll reject you when you express a desire for intimacy, always denying your advances.

This behavior isn’t just frustrating, it’s about maintaining control. Narcissists love to dictate the terms of any interaction, especially in the bedroom. They refuse to engage on your terms. They expect you to be ready and willing whenever they want to have sex, regardless of how you feel.

This control extends even to moments when you are in physical or emotional pain. They demand you prioritize their needs. You can be recovering from an illness or a medical procedure. Or you are simply having a hard day.

Refusing them? That’s not an option. If you say no, they often threaten to cheat or leave you, making you feel worthless or inadequate. Over time, these constant rejections lead you to question your attractiveness, self-worth, and value as a partner.

You will begin to change your appearance, trying to “fix” what you believe is wrong with you. But in reality, the issue lies with their need for control, not with you. I know this all too well, I lived it for many years.

The Emotional Damage of Constant Rejection

Living with constant rejection can chip away at your self-esteem. You might start feeling unattractive or not good enough.

The truth is, it’s not about your looks or worth—it’s about their need to feel powerful. They’re playing a twisted game, using sex as a tool to control you emotionally and mentally. This tactic can leave you feeling isolated and confused about where you stand in the relationship.

2. Post-Argument Sex: Exploiting Your Vulnerability

Narcissists have an unsettling habit of wanting to have sex immediately after an intense fight. This will leave you bewildered, especially after a conflict where you’re emotionally drained or upset.

Why does this happen? Narcissists thrive on your emotional pain, it arouses them. Your sadness or vulnerability fuels their need for control and dominance.

They don’t care about your feelings or the emotional toll the argument has taken. What they care about is re-establishing control. After a fight, they fear losing their grip on you. They use sex as a way to regain power and reinforce the trauma bond.

You will find yourself giving in, even when you don’t want to. It’s the only time you feel any connection to them. This cycle of conflict and forced intimacy creates an emotional rollercoaster, leaving you constantly on edge.

The Role of Trauma Bonds in Narcissistic Relationships

After a fight, your brain is flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. When sex follows, chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin are released, creating a confusing mix of emotional highs and lows.

This emotional cocktail is part of what keeps you trapped in the toxic dynamic. The intimacy, though fleeting, feels like the only time you get relief from the emotional chaos. It leaves you craving more, despite the pain.

3. Dominating Sexual Positions: Exerting Physical Control

Think bedroom preferences are just personal taste? With narcissists, it’s all about dominance and sexual entitlement.

Narcissists often prefer positions that limit your movement. They want you pinned down, unable to participate. It’s not about mutual pleasure. It’s about using your body as a prop for their gratification.

Try to get involved. Expect to be shut down fast. “Stop that,” they’ll say. “I don’t like it.” Your pleasure isn’t just secondary. It’s irrelevant.

This isn’t making love. It’s not even having sex. It’s masturbation with a living doll. You’re just there to stroke their ego.

For somatic narcissists, this behavior is particularly pronounced. These individuals use their bodies as a source of narcissistic supply. Your reactions feed their false self, reinforcing their grandiose self-image.

Remember, healthy sex is about mutual enjoyment. If you’re feeling used rather than cherished, it’s time to reassess.

The Psychological Impact of Feeling Powerless

Being treated like an object, rather than a partner, can cause you to feel emotionally distant from yourself. You start seeing sex as something that’s happening to you, not with you.

Over time, this leads to feelings of worthlessness and detachment. Narcissists don’t care about intimacy, they care about how they feel in the moment and about maintaining control.

4. Excessive Pornography: Escaping Real Intimacy

Another disturbing sexual habit of narcissists is their preference for pornography over real-life intimacy. Narcissists often turn to porn because it allows them to stay disconnected from their partners emotionally.

Watching porn gives them an artificial sense of gratification without the vulnerability that comes with true emotional intimacy.

They will make you feel like you’re not good enough. Narcissists make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. They are avoiding the emotional connection that comes with real-life interactions.

Narcissists prefer fantasy over reality because it lets them maintain their illusion of control. They can engage in fantasy without having to be vulnerable or authentic.

The Emotional Toll of a Narcissist’s Porn Addiction

When a narcissist chooses pornography over you, it can feel incredibly isolating. You will wonder what you’re doing wrong or why they don’t find you attractive.

In truth, this behavior has little to do with you. It has everything to do with their inability to connect on a deeper level. Their use of porn is just another way to avoid true intimacy and stay emotionally detached.

5. The Intimacy Drought

At the heart of all these behaviors lies a fundamental truth: narcissists are incapable of true intimacy.

Some will future fake at first. They’ll shower you with affection, making you feel like you’ve found your soulmate. But it’s all a façade.

As the relationship progresses, the mask slips. Kisses become rare. Tender moments disappear. Sex becomes mechanical, devoid of emotion.

For some narcissists, even basic displays of affection are off-limits. A simple kiss can very well trigger rage. Why? Because it threatens their carefully constructed walls.

Somatic narcissists will offer intense sexual experiences. But don’t be fooled. It’s all performance, no substance. They’re making love to their reflection, not to you.

After sex, there’s no afterglow. No cuddling. No whispered words of affection. You’re left feeling used and discarded.

This lack of intimacy isn’t just unsatisfying. It’s soul-crushing. Humans need emotional connection. We crave it. Being denied this basic need can lead to deep psychological wounds.

Final Thoughts

If these habits sound familiar, you are dealing with a narcissist in your life. The emotional and mental toll of these toxic sexual behaviors can be devastating, leaving you feeling broken and confused.

It’s important to remember that these behaviors are not a reflection of your worth or desirability. They are simply tools narcissists use to keep power and control.

The first step to breaking free from this cycle is recognizing the patterns and understanding that you deserve more. If you’re ready to reclaim your self-worth and heal, consider seeking support from a therapist or a narcissistic abuse coach!