Our pursuit of spiritual awakening often begins with a sincere desire for growth, peace, and a deeper connection to something greater than ourselves. From our experience, this path, while profoundly rewarding, presents unique challenges, one of the most subtle yet significant being spiritual bypassing.

This term, coined by psychotherapist and Buddhist teacher John Welwood in the early 1980s, describes a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.

It’s a mechanism that, while seemingly offering solace, can actually hinder genuine personal and spiritual development.

Key Takeaways

Spiritual bypass involves using spiritual concepts, beliefs, and practices to evade confronting difficult emotions, past traumas, and essential life challenges.
Originally identified by John Welwood, this defense mechanism can manifest as excessive positivity, emotional numbing, or a premature sense of transcendence.
The impact of spiritual bypass extends to individual well-being and relationships, often leading to stunted emotional growth, anxiety, and a superficial connection to spirituality.
Recognizing this pattern requires honest self-reflection and a willingness to embrace the full spectrum of human experience, including discomfort and pain.
Overcoming spiritual bypassing means integrating psychological healing with spiritual practice, fostering authentic emotional processing, and grounding oneself in present reality.

What Exactly is Spiritual Bypassing?

At its core, spiritual bypass is a sophisticated form of avoidance. It’s when we deploy spiritual concepts, beliefs, or practices to evade directly dealing with painful feelings, personal responsibilities, or deeply rooted psychological issues.

As John Welwood observed in his work, people may unconsciously use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.

This isn’t necessarily a conscious deception but often a subtle, ingrained coping strategy.

Consider a scenario where someone has been engaged in spiritual practice for decades, perhaps a rigorous meditation practice, yet still struggles with deep-seated anger or a pervasive sense of loneliness.

Their adherence to spiritual teachings might be used to suppress these emotions, rather than to process and integrate them. This constitutes a spiritual bypass.

While the intention behind using spiritual practices can be noble, when a spiritual practice is used to bypass our real-life human issues, it becomes compartmentalized, separate from our overall functioning, and ultimately hinders true healing and growth.

The term “spiritual bypassing” highlights how individuals might interpret spiritual concepts, such as “oneness” or “positive vibes only,” in a way that allows them to dismiss or deny the valid, often challenging, aspects of their human experience.

It is like trying to rise above the raw and messy side of our humanness before we have fully faced and made peace with it.

higher self — What is spiritual bypassing?

Why Do We Tend to Use Spiritual Ideas and Practices to Sidestep Emotional Issues?

The inclination to bypass stems from a deeply human desire to avoid discomfort. Uncomfortable feelings like anger, grief, fear, or shame can be overwhelming.

When we encounter these intense emotional issues, it’s natural to seek relief. Spirituality, with its promise of peace, transcendence, and higher perspectives, can appear to offer a direct route away from this internal turmoil.

However, the problem arises when ideas and practices to sidestep discomfort become a chronic pattern of avoidance and repression.

We may use spiritual concepts to rationalize our disengagement from difficult situations or relationships, believing we are simply being “non-attached” or “forgiving,” when in fact, we are neglecting our basic human needs for connection and emotional integrity.

From our perspective in supporting individuals on their spiritual paths, we’ve frequently seen that the underlying motivation for this bypass is often a fear of facing unresolved psychological wounds.

These wounds can be painful and demand significant inner work. John Welwood, in an interview, further elaborates on this bypass, calling it an “occupational hazard” of the spiritual path.

It occurs when a person tries to transcend psychological and emotional issues by ignoring them. Ultimately, this creates a debilitating split between their spiritual and human aspects of self.

This tendency to use spiritual ideas can feel like a quick fix, an elevated escape, but it prevents the profound healing that comes from authentic engagement with our inner landscape.

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What Are Common Examples of Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual bypass can manifest in various subtle and overt ways. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward genuine integration and growth. Here are some common examples of spiritual bypassing:

Forced Positivity and Toxic Optimism: Insisting on “good vibes only” or asserting that “everything happens for a reason” even in the face of immense suffering, without allowing space for grief, anger, or sadness. This is a profound use of spiritual concepts to deny normal human emotions.
Premature Forgiveness: Rushing to forgive someone who has caused harm without first processing your own hurt, setting boundaries, or holding them accountable.

This use of spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep the painful, unresolved emotional issues can leave deep psychological wounds unaddressed.
Exaggerated Detachment: Adopting an extreme degree of alienation or non-attachment to avoid commitment, intimacy, or confronting one’s need for love.

This form of bypass covers up and defends against an underlying deficient identity, where genuine connection is feared.
Blaming Karma or Past Lives: Attributing current difficulties solely to past lives or karma as a way to avoid taking personal responsibility for one’s reactions, choices, or patterns in the present.

This kind of bypass can become an excuse for not addressing immediate problems.
Spiritual Superiority (Spiritual Narcissism): Believing one has “arrived at a higher level” of spiritual awareness and, consequently, judging others for their perceived lack of spiritual development or emotional struggles.

This can involve using spirituality, where one creates delusions of having arrived at a higher level.
Over-reliance on Spiritual Practices as Escape: Using practices like meditation, prayer, or retreats primarily to avoid uncomfortable feelings and unresolved life situations, rather than as tools for deeper insight and integration.

While a meditation practice can be profoundly beneficial, it is also frequently used to avoid uncomfortable feelings and unresolved life situations. If used in this way, meditation practice can reinforce a tendency toward emotional numbing or disengagement.
Dismissing Others’ Emotions: Telling someone who is experiencing pain or anger to “just pray about it” or “focus on the positive,” thereby invalidating their legitimate feelings and spiritual experiences. This demonstrates a subtle yet potent share of spiritual bypassing.

These examples show how spiritual bypass is like creating a spiritual identity that covers up and defends against an underlying deficient identity, preventing genuine psychological integration.

spiritual bypassing include a candle in your hands

How Does Spiritual Bypass Impact Our Growth and Relationships?

The long-term impact of spiritual bypass can be profound, hindering not only individual psychological and emotional development but also damaging our relationships.

When you use spiritual bypassing, you avoid the difficult parts of being human. This keeps you from facing and making peace with those messy feelings or experiences.

This essentially creates a “Pandora’s box of unaddressed issues, lurking in the shadows of the psyche.”

Stunted Emotional Growth: By continuously pushing away or refraining from difficult emotions, we deny ourselves the opportunity to develop emotional resilience and maturity. True growth means fully facing and making peace with our internal experiences.
Superficial Relationships: Authentic connection thrives on vulnerability and transparency. When we use spirituality to avoid dealing with our inner world or to maintain an elevated persona, we create distance from others.

This lack of intimacy can lead to an extreme degree of alienation. We might unconsciously act out our needs for love and connection in covert or harmful ways.
Anxiety and Depression: The repression of emotional issues does not make them disappear; it drives them underground, where they can manifest as anxiety, depression, emotional confusion, and chronic unease.
Disregard for Personal Responsibility: Spiritual bypass can lead individuals to justify inaction or harmful behaviors by appealing to higher powers or spiritual beliefs, thus avoiding accountability.

This can also involve judging others for expressing emotions like anger, seeing it as “unspiritual” rather than a valid signal of violated boundaries or injustice.
Loss of Self-Love and Authenticity: Constantly trying to rise above the raw and messy aspects of ourselves, or denying our basic human needs, can lead to a fundamental rejection of who we are.

This pursuit of an “elevated” spiritual life is elevated at the expense of its opposite, our grounded humanity. This can lead to an identity that covers up and defends against an underlying deficient identity.

As psychologist John Welwood highlighted, when spiritual practice is used to bypass our deep psychological issues, it becomes compartmentalized and remains unintegrated with our overall functioning.

This prevents the profound healing that comes from a holistic approach to self-discovery.

what is spiritual bypassing — signs of spiritual bypassing

How Can We Overcome Spiritual Bypass?

Overcoming spiritual bypass requires conscious effort, genuine self-inquiry, and a commitment to holistic growth. It is about embracing, rather than avoiding, the full spectrum of human experience.

Cultivate Emotional Awareness and Acceptance: This is foundational. Instead of labeling emotions as “good” or “bad,” allow yourself to feel them fully. Uncomfortable feelings are often signposts, indicating areas that need attention and change.

As a spiritual practitioner, recognizing that all feelings are temporary and serve a purpose is crucial.
Integrate Psychology and Spirituality: Acknowledge that spiritual growth and psychological healing are not mutually exclusive; they are deeply interconnected.

Engaging in therapeutic work can provide invaluable tools for processing unresolved emotional issues and psychological wounds that spiritual ideas alone may not address.

This means doing the inner work and confronting the darkness and wounds inside, rather than merely picking at the scab.
Ground Yourself in the Present: While transcendence is a part of many spiritual paths, it must be balanced with embodiment. Reconnect with your physical body and the present moment.

Movement, breathwork, and somatic practices can help you stay rooted in reality, recognizing that the body never bypasses; it holds the truth we sometimes try to transcend.
Examine Your Motivations: Regularly question ‘why’ you are engaging in certain spiritual practices or adopting particular spiritual beliefs. Is it a spiritual practice used to genuinely connect, grow, and heal, or is it an attempt to bypass difficult realities or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues?

For example, if your meditation practice is used to escape, it might be an example of spiritual bypassing.
Embrace Vulnerability and Authentic Connection: True spirituality encourages deep connection, not detachment. Be willing to be vulnerable with trusted individuals in your spiritual community or personal life.

Share your struggles, fears, and doubts, allowing for genuine empathy and support. This counters the tendency toward isolation and the development of an extreme degree of alienation.
Take Personal Responsibility: Recognize what is within your control and take actionable steps. While faith and trust are important, they do not negate the need for practical engagement with life’s challenges.

This means accepting that emotional issues are often signals that something needs to change.
Challenge “Good Vibes Only” Mentality: Understand that it’s normal and healthy to experience a full range of emotions. Genuine emotional health is not about suppressing feelings, but about connecting with them and leading them.

Trying to rise above the raw and messy side of our humanness before we have fully faced and made peace with it is a critical aspect of how spiritual bypassing is like a form of premature transcendence.

True spiritual development involves a continuous process of self-discovery, where every part of our experience, including our vulnerabilities and psychological issues, is embraced as an opportunity for profound healing.

It’s a journey of integrating our humanity with our divinity, fostering an authentic and resilient sense of self.

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What is the Role of a Healthy Spiritual Community?

A good spiritual community can be an immense source of support and encouragement on your path. However, it’s vital to distinguish between a truly supportive community and one that inadvertently fosters spiritual bypass.

A healthy spiritual community encourages open dialogue about struggles, respects individual emotional processes, and offers a holistic approach to well-being that includes psychological healing.

It provides a safe space for individuals to express their raw and messy experiences without judgment or pressure to “rise above” them prematurely.

We often observe that communities that inadvertently promote spiritual bypassing might focus heavily on superficial positivity, discourage expressions of anger or doubt, or exhibit blind allegiance to leaders.

A truly supportive environment acknowledges the complexity of the human experience, recognizing that life is elevated at the expense of its opposite when we deny difficult realities.

They understand that authentic spiritual practices empower individuals to face challenges with courage, rather than offering a bypass.

Ultimately, your spiritual journey is deeply personal. Being aware of the potential for spiritual bypass equips you with the discernment needed to navigate this path with greater wisdom and integrity.

It means embracing all parts of yourself; the light and the shadow, the joy and the sorrow; and recognizing that every experience holds the potential for profound transformation. This commitment to wholeness leads to a more grounded, authentic, and truly awakened life.

Further Resources on Spiritual Development

If you’re seeking to deepen your spiritual understanding without falling into the trap of spiritual bypass, consider exploring resources that emphasize emotional integration and psychological awareness.

Books by John Welwood himself, as well as works by other transpersonal psychologists, offer valuable insights into balancing the spiritual and psychological dimensions of human experience.

Remember, true spirituality is not about escaping reality but about engaging with it more fully, consciously, and compassionately. It’s about allowing yourself to be transformed by your experiences, rather than trying to bypass them.

A genuine spiritual practitioner understands that this is a lifelong journey of unfolding and integration.

Many who have engaged in spiritual practice for decades find that integrating psychological work is essential for addressing unfinished developmental tasks and old psychological wounds.

We’ve seen firsthand how profound this integration can be in leading to a more complete sense of self and a richer, more authentic connection to life.

It’s a journey that honors your human needs, supports you in fully facing and making peace with every aspect of your being, and ultimately leads to a more truly awakened state.

Spiritual Bypassing: What You Need To Know About It!